Booze

PREGNANT KATE MAJORS AND MICHAEL LOHAN: A MATCH MADE IN HELL

#michaellohan #katemajors #janetcharlton

Most disturbing news of the day is the fact that Lindsay Lohan’s whacked out substance abusing father Michael has impregnated his equally hopped up girlfriend/sparring partner Kate Majors. When they’re not beating each other up and calling the cops, they’re having seizures and checking in and out of rehab. Both have long rap sheets. Kate has been arrested several times for disorderly intoxication and had a restraining order against Michael when he got her pregnant. Kate, who was fired from Star magazine for taking up with Jon Gosselin, has no visible means of support except selling personal photos and info to tabloids. Michael is a deadbeat dad who can’t support his other kids. Maybe Kate figures she can sell stories about her BABY. It’s a revolting situation because they’re both hopelessly unfit to be parents.

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WHAT DOES BOBBY BROWN DRINK FOR BREAKFAST?

We certainly weren’t surprised to hear that Bobby Brown was arrested for a probable DUI at 12:20 PM today in Reseda, California. Readers may recall, we had an encounter with Bobby in a Beverly Hills elevator around a month ago and at 12:30 in the afternoon he REEKED of alcohol. (He was in a very good mood also) Not a lot of celebrities drink that early in the day but Bobby and Whitney both had a serious drinking problem that took a back seat to drug abuse. Driving drunk AND talking on the phone is a lethal combination and we’re glad he’s off the road.

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MILEY CYRUS CAN’T IMAGINE WHERE THOSE EXTRA CALORIES ARE COMING FROM

Miley “ I love myself” Cyrus kicked up a huge fuss when twitter followers accused her of gaining weight. She insisted she LOVES her womanly body and men love it too. Keep in mind, she is eighteen and that’s the age when a lot of young people pack on the pounds their freshman year in college. Not only from eating donuts for breakfast, but from DRINKING. It so happens Miley is welcome at the Hollywood clubs, like Beacher’s Madhouse, and it’s easy to have friends procure drinks. Miley would be very irritated to learn that people who know her in Hollywood suspect that booze is making her plump up.

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AMY WINEHOUSE FANS GIVE HER THE SEND-OFF SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED

The legend that was Amy Winehouse is attracting throngs of fans to the Camden Square house where she died. By day, her fans from around the world leave gifts and flowers and weep and commiserate about their loss. But at night the crowd is different – rowdy boozers play music, sing, dance and fight and smoke. Sometimes they swill from bottles left at Amy’s shrine. The high-as-a-kite after hours people party all night in front of her house and often tangle with cops, but they insist “It’s what Amy would have wanted.”

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LEONARDO DICAPRIO NURSED HIS BROKEN HEART BY BEHAVING RATHER PIGGISHLY IN CANNES

Leonardo DiCaprio is apparently not TOO heartbroken about his split with Bar Rafaeli. He and a group of buddies immediately took off for Cannes with the intent of partying till they drop. They all got together on Jamie Foxx’s large rented yacht and and invited every pretty girl they laid their eyes on. The parties lasted all night and someone who just got back mentioned “tons of alcohol and hot and cold running call girls – hookers galore” on that yacht. Leo WAS photographed with Blake Lively, but we doubt if she knew what the hard partying Leo was up to after hours.

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IS BOBBI KRISTINA FOLLOWING IN HER MOTHER WHITNEY HOUSTON’S UNSTEADY FOOTSTEPS?

Whitney Houston has fallen so far off the wagon (we hear it’s crack again- and booze) that Prince didn’t want her onstage with him. Houston seemed so intoxicated with her daughter at a recent performance that she was banned from future Prince shows. Apparently her “out-patient” rehab isn’t doing much good. The most alarming factor about this relapse is the sight of her daughter Bobbi Kristina, 18, looking and acting every bit as high as her mother. They were body slamming each other, singing drunkenly in each other’s arms, and doing things mothers and daughters don’t generally do. Has Bobbi become Whitney’s new “drug buddy?”

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JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS CHECKS INTO REHAB NUMBER 4 AND OUT OF A JOB

Now that his boozing is costing him some money, Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, 33, might actually take his current stay in rehab seriously. The sexy Tudors star has a bad habit of getting drunk and disorderly in airports and has been in rehab three times before his recent check-in. He‘s also been the spokesperson for Hugo Boss for since 2006, but now they’ve replaced him with Jared Leto.

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COOLIO: “I’M THE BLACK CHARLIE SHEEN” (BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?)

Even Charlie Sheen never put on a sloppy public display of insanity like Coolio did in Minneapolis. According to our gossip pal CJ at the Minneapolis Star Tribune, the rapper appeared at the Lounge ($15 at the door) where he embarrassed himself with a drunken, incoherent sexual tirade. The club owner said Coolio forgot the words to his hit “Gangsta’s Paradise” and announced “I am the black Charlie Sheen.“ He then proceeded to proposition women in the audience in obscenely unprintable terms. After he was busted with crack cocaine at LAX in 2009, Coolio was sentenced to 18 months in rehab. Even more alarming than his behavior is his hair style. We didn’t know he was bald on top.

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NICOLAS CAGE: WHEN YOU CAN’T REMEMBER WHERE YOU LIVE, IT’S TIME FOR REHAB

Nicolas Cage has had several alcohol fueled public meltdowns lately and we’re thinking it’s Next Stop: REHAB. He embarrassed himself in Bucharest when he got so drunk at a party he was bellowing incoherently in the street and had to be dragged into his car by a bodyguard. He even forgot his wife at the party and they had to go back. He’s made several drunken scenes in New Orleans, but this last one is absurd because he was SO hammered he forgot where he lived, and took it out on his wife. (He had to sell his New Orleans home and is currently renting.) It was very late and Nic was drunkenly insisting on entering the wrong residence and his 20 years younger wife Alice Kim was trying to convince him they were staying at a building nearby. Imagine if he had stormed into the wrong house! As usual, Cage made a huge fuss and was bullying, yelling and roughing up his wife on the street when a cab called the police. When police came he DARED them to arrest him and they did. Cage was booked at 6:33 AM. (How late are the bars open there, anyway?) It’s time for Nicolas to get a grip on his finances AND his substance abuse.

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LADY GAGA’S MOM IS ON THE TOUR BUS

Lady Gaga is in the habit of getting very run down on her tours by keeping late hours, partying too much, and not eating. So she invited her mom to come along on her current tour and keep an eye on her. Cynthia Germanotta, 56, is traveling on the tour bus with her daughter and she’s determined to keep her healthy. Hopefully, Gaga will be eating more and drinking less, and her only health threat will be her absurdly high platform shoes.

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