Janet Charlton's HOLLYWOOD

Back in the 1978, Christina Crawford’s semi-autobiography Mommy Dearest, about her  abusive adoptive mother, actress Joan Crawford, was such a page turner that it become a 1981 hit movie starring Faye Dunaway.  Well kiddos, get ready for Stepfather Dearest, and this will make Mommy Dearest seem like a Disney movie!  Our C list stud muffin hasn’t had much of a career since the late 1990s, but he DOES have a famous last name, and a mega famous onetime stepdad.  Money is tight these days, so he’s writing a no-holds barred tell all, that will cause ripples in Hollywood and worldwide.  His childhood was horrific and he suffered emotional and physical abuse at the hands of his mom’s  hubby.  One of the most shocking incidents was when the stepdad drew a swastika on our guys forehead and made him wear it for a week! The stepdad is still very rich and famous, so there’s a strong possibility he will buy the rights to the book so it will never see the light of day.

GUESS WHO!!!

This former A plus list, but now solid B list,  performer beat the odds by staying married for years to her less successful but cute husband.  They’re still happily married and there’s a reason – they’re now secretly involved in a throuple and share their bedroom with another female partner!  Their youngish kids are old enough not to need a live in nanny so when people question who she is, their female partner plays the part of a live in personal assistant – but she’s doing all of her work in the bedroom.  There’s no jealousy at all, since our guy is living his fantasy of being with two women at the same time, and our gal gets to satisfy her long rumored, but never acknowledged bisexuality.  Of course they have rules, like they can’t have any alone time with their third partner, but aside from that, it’s what keeping their marriage intact.

Our gal has never been in a better place – she has mega fame, a vast fortune, countless opportunities, and  she looks better than she’s looked in years, thanks to some well crafted plastic surgery.  Her life is borderline perfect except for one thing – she is sick of her longtime partner and is doing everything in her power to get HIM to dump HER, so she won’t have to pay any spousal support.  She is the breadwinner in the relationship, and has been picking up the tab for him since they first got together. Although they’re not legally married, they’ve been together long enough that she would be legally obligated to continue supporting him in the high flying manner he’s grown accustomed to, if she were to break things off. Despite her wealth, she’s notoriously frugal so she’s determined to make him as miserable as possible so he dumps her and she won’t owe him a cent. So far, however,  it’s not working, and he’s not about to get off this gravy train.

This actress was once considered one of America’s sweethearts with her classic California blonde looks  – along with an impressive career.  The years haven’t been so kind and her beauty started fading, along with the quality of her work.  After a very dark period, she seemed to get her life back together, embracing sobriety and focused on a Hollywood comeback.  Sadly, she just fell off the wagon with both booze and pills.  She was recently filming a project,  but the director had to halt the production because she was higher than a kite. She started going off script – babbling about her lesbian fantasies and sexual proclivities -despite the fact that  she was SUPPOSED to talk about a beauty product she was getting paid to endorse…

GUESS WHO!!

Our gal’s weight has gone up and down like an elevator, but lately she’s as fit as a fiddle. She’s frequently seen carrying an aluminum beverage flask telling anyone who will listen that she likes to “stay hydrated.”  It so happens she’s not as worried about being hydrated as she is about looking thin.  The beverage flask is rarely filed with just water and usually contains what she calls a “poop tea”.  The herbal tea is specially blended by her nutritionist to help her shed water weight and also induce bowel movements.  She relies on this diet secret far too often, and some closest to her are worried she’s screwing up her digestive system by overusing the special tea.  Here’s a big clue… she was recently photographed at a hoity toity event dressed to the nines and schlepping the flask.

Their divorce was hardly the definition of amicable, but time heals all wounds, and they are now civil.   But buckle up kiddos, it’s going to get bumpy.  Our guy was seemingly decent during the divorce, giving our gal a lump sum settlement and she was fine with that.   Until now.  The reason?  She just found out that he is about to inherit a FORTUNE from a long-ago deceased relative whose estate was trapped in probate for ages.  The legal battles are close to being resolved, and our guy will instantly be worth MILLIONS – of course, now she wants a chunk of that windfall.  Here are your clues –  he’s a former A- list now B- list movie actor, and she is a C list TV personality.

GUESS WHO!!

Sure,  she’s been in a few hit TV shows, and starred in some so-so movies, but if you read the publicity surrounding her, one would likely assume she’s the biggest star in the world.  She somehow snags invites at the MOST desirable events, and if there’s a coveted red carpet she’s THERE.  Granted, she’s cute and has some talent, but that’s not what boosted her popularity.  She’s been having an affair with a VERY powerful and wealthy Hollywood insider, and that’s why she’s suddenly being promoted as the hottest thing out there.

This attractive younger couple seemed to have the type of relationship that romance novels are made of – she inherited her parents goods looks, along with their fame and fortune, and he was blessed with equally good looks and a whole lotta talent.  They seemed to be the perfect match (a real life Ken and Barbie !) until they unexpectedly broke up and now we know WHY.  They were ideally suited in many ways except one very important one – they are both  attracted to men!  He isn’t gay but bisexual, and she was initially fine with that, especially since her own father is rumored to be bisexual too.  But eventually she decided she didn’t want to compete with men for her boyfriend’s attention, and dumped him.  He’s now looking for a partner who will accept him for his sexual orientation, and she has moved on to 100% heterosexual men.

They say nothing lasts forever, but nonetheless no one saw this celebrity split coming, except perhaps their CLOSEST friends. It seems our guy is having a mid- life crisis, and after years of being a devoted husband,  he’s finally decided to embrace his true sexuality – he’s gay, or at least VERY bi!  Terrified of ruining his career, he gave what some would call the performance of his lifetime staying married and playing the part of the perfect husband. He tried everything to suppress his sexual desires, but after intensive therapy, decided he needed to live his truth.  He’s not ready to come out YET, but don’t be surprised if you see a big splashy cover story once he eventually does.  Don’t feel sorry for his wife – she has known his secret and wants him to be happy.

GUESS WHO!!

This former A list – now barely B list – starlet has something in common with Diddy – they both use the same escort service for male companionship.  While Diddy reportedly used the service to find studs to sleep with his then-girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, our gal uses the service to hire men to please her.  Yes, this aging starlet has always had a type – she likes men with gorgeous faces and smooth skin, but ever since her last marriage ended, she hasn’t had any luck finding sexy guys! Out of desperation she turned to the escort service and now spends upwards of $5,000 a week on stud service, telling a friend it’s literally the best money she ever spent…

GUESS WHO!!