Muscles

JEFF BEZOS MAKES TIME FOR SELF IMPROVEMENT

We’re not sure how we got there, (some speculate steroids, while others insist it was exercise and diet) but Amazon billionaire Jeff Bezos has transformed himself over the past years. He went from scrawny to muscular, but that’s only the beginning of his makeover. He recently met with a top Beverly Hills plastic surgeon (his fiancé, Lauren Sanchez recommended this particular doctor) about getting his neck done. While his face is youthful, Jeff fears that he has a turkey neck. The procedure costs approximately $150,000 (pocket change to Bezos) so he’s looking at his schedule to see when he can disappear for two weeks to give him enough time to have the surgery and recover.

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

KYLIE JENNER AND TIMOTHEE CHALAMET AIM TO PLEASE

Timothée Chalamet, and Kylie Jenner are both making changes to please each another and keep their blossoming romance abloom. For her part, Kylie has toned down her garish Kardashian style, wearing less make up and dressing with more subtlety. For his part, Timothee is hitting the gym. Kylie has always preferred lean guys, but she likes a little more muscle than Timothee’s usual physique. While she’s toning her look DOWN he’s bulking his UP. Timothee is bragging to pals that he’s already added 5 pounds of pure muscle to his frame with a goal of gaining 10 more.

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA Kylie and Timothee watching tennis

ROBERT F KENNEDY JR IS GETTING IN SHAPE TO BE PRESIDENT

Unlikely presidential candidate and vaccine denier, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. hopes his ripped body will win over female voters. No kidding! As misogynistic as it sounds, a source reveals that RFK Jr.’s political strategy includes showing off his tanned and muscular physique as often as possible -and then comparing himself to octogenarian Joe Biden. He kicked off his new “sexy campaign strategy” on Twitter this week, posting a shirtless video doing push-ups and remarking how he’s getting in shape to debate the president (even though no debates are planned.) My source insists this isn’t a joke and we should plan to see more shirtless shots all throughout the campaign. We are torn between being amused by his strategy or insulted…

Photo; RFK Jr (on right) and his trainer

CARROT TOP LOST FIFTY POUNDS OF MUSCLE

Things are happening in Las Vegas besides The Grammys. It was opening night for magician Criss Angel’s new show Amystika at the Criss Angel Theater at Planet Hollywood. Las Vegas regular Carrot Top turned up for the celebration and he looked normal – quite different from the last time we saw him. Remember a few years ago when Carrot Top says he became obsessed with working out in the gym three hours a day, and he turned into a 50-pounds-heavier bulging muscle monster? At the time he denied using steroids – but doesn’t everyone? Anyway, it appears he found a better use for his time…

Top Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA
Bottom: Instagram

JOEL MCHALE SHOPS THE FARMER’S MARKET LIKE A PRO

We can tell you EXACTLY where to find comic Joel McHale every Sunday morning without fail. And it’s NOT church. It’s the Farmer’s Market in Studio City. One of the few places that has been open all through the pandemic- because it’s outdoors and shoppers keep their social distance. We always loved McHale on E’s show The Soup – he made fun of everybody. Joel has admitted he’s a workaholic and during the past year he faithfully arrived at the Farmer’s Market bright and early each week, in a very organized fashion. Note the different colored bags he brings for the various purchases- all attached to his little shopping cart. We can’t help but notice that he has also cultivated some pandemic muscles, but lotsa luck recognizing THIS famous shopper with all that stuff on his head…

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

DOES ROBERT PATTINSON LOOK MORE LIKE A JUNKIE, OR A SUPERHERO?

Comic book fansites have been discussing the possibility that Robert Pattinson FAKED having coronavirus because he’s clashing with his Batman director Matt Reeves. Reeves instructed Pattinson to work out before shooting started to build up some Batman muscle, and he didn’t. (Someone remarked that the Twilight star looks more like a junkie than a superhero) The director is afraid the stuntmen in Batman suits will look much bigger than Robert, so he supposedly closed down production so the actor had time to get in shape, and CLAIMED it was due to coronavirus. Pattinson STILL failed to beef up and now he and the director are at odds and the production schedule is a mess.

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA -Robert Pattinson in September

SERENA WILLIAMS MAKES HER FRIENDS LOOK LIKE PENCIL-NECKS

Now HERE is a woman that Italian playboys might be afraid to mess with. Tennis pro Serena Williams is in Milan having lunch with some girlfriends and she sure looks imposing. And maybe intimidating! She’s not happy about her latest tennis performances – she says her injuries kept her from doing her best. But you’d never guess it by looking at her….

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

SUDDENLY NICK JONAS LOOKS LIKE A TROUBLEMAKER

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Omigosh! At first we didn’t recognize this musclebound behemoth! He used to be a Jonas Brother! Nick Jonas, 21, is obviously taking his new acting role very seriously. He’s been cast in the new TV series “Navy Street.” It’s described as a gritty family drama about a family that owns a martial arts gym in Venice Califormia. Nick plays the youngest son. He has successfully put his Disney boy-band reputation behind him. He’s almost scary looking now. Maybe this is why the Jonas Brothers split up.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

MARK WAHLBERG DOESN’T NEED A HOODIE TO BE SCARY

When we see Mark Wahlberg in this advanced state of overdeveloped muscularity, with the usual angry look on his face, he scares us. (Try to find a photo of him NOT scowling.) We can only imagine that he is stoked with bulk increasing drugs like steriods and always struggling to control his temper. The movie characters he chooses to play seem decent but insensitive and absurdly macho. He talks a lot about how religious he is, but it doesn’t appear to affect his demeanor. Being a tough guy seems like the most important thing to him and he appears to have a chip on his shoulder instead of gratitude for his success. Andy Samberg’s SNL impersonation was dead-on.