Cancer

KHLOE KARDASHIAN’S PLASTIC SURGEON IS RED HOT

We’ve been pondering the REAL reason behind Khloe Kardashian’s unnecessary announcement that she just had a cancerous tumor (?) removed from her cheek by plastic surgeon Dr Garth Fisher. Certainly no one would have noticed she had ANYTHING done without this abundance of publicity. Her skin problem was the size of a pea, hidden by her hair, and barely visible- especially considering her obsession with photoshopping all her pics. Perhaps she announced this procedure simply to give Garth Fisher favorable publicity. Fans will assume Fisher was the surgeon who gave Khloe her new face awhile back, and they will be lined up outside his office. Can’t hurt to have a grateful plastic surgeon in your life!

Photo: instagram

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VAL KILMER: THE CHURCH CAN DO NO WRONG

We haven’t watched the new Amazon Prime documentary Val because, frankly, it seemed like it might be depressing. Through the years we’ve watched Val Kilmer obviously suffering and hiding from the fact that he had cancer. He denied he was sick, but every time we saw him he looked worse. Back in 2015 he had a big lump in his throat and was apparently diagnosed at that time. Since he was a devoted Christian Scientist, he arranged for a “spiritual advisor” from the church to pray away his malady with him. When he didn’t appear to be improving, his two children, Mercedes and Jack, (from his marriage to Joanne Whalley) BEGGED him to seek traditional medical treatment. Eventually he relented and DID have surgery, radiation, and chemo, but would it have been more successful if he had done it sooner? Val survived but he was left suffering with a feeding tube (he cannot eat) and a tracheotomy tube. Val still insists that praying is what healed him and it was the medical treatment that left him to suffer with the tubes…

Photo: Amazon Prime Video

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OOPS! MICHAEL DOUGLAS DIDN’T MEAN TO IMPLICATE HIS WIVES IN DISCUSSING DISEASE

Both Catherine Zeta-Jones and Michael Douglas’s first wife Diandra are very agitated about the fact that Michael has implied that his throat cancer was caused by a sex disease. Both women want the world to know that they do NOT carry HPV, and Michael has started backtracking. However, it’s clear to us that Michael is referring back to his days as a raving sex-addict. Michael was a cheater who bedded almost every leading lady (are you reading this, Sharon Stone?) every attractive bit player, producer’s daughters, and his wife’s best friends. In his heyday, he was known for his trysts at every fancy hotel in LA and New York. He thinks it was those youthful indiscretions that led to his cancer, not so much the smoking and drinking, but who knows?

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RYAN O’NEAL IS STILL CASHING IN ON FARRAH’S MEMORY

Ryan O’Neal has been making a huge deal out of his prostate cancer and of course, there’s a good reason that has nothing to do with honesty. The dramatic announcements (is it stage FOUR or stage TWO, Ryan? Make up your mind!) were well timed to arouse pity and draw attention to his new book “Both Of Us- My Life With Farrah.” So he’s still cashing in on his relationship with Farrah, perhaps because not many people care about HIS life story. On his website, Ryan modestly describes himself as an “iconic actor, Oscar nominee, and true movie star.” Miraculously, he’s not too sick to schedule a cross-country book tour, starting in New York Tuesday.

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GEORGE HAMILTON FINALLY THREW AWAY HIS SUN REFLECTOR

George Hamilton, 72, is on the cover of The National Enquirer because he is “battling skin cancer” but in fact, he’s had skin cancer for at least ten years. He’s had lesions removed through years and has only recently cut back on his sun exposure and switched to spray tans. Tanning addict George was one of the last people to give up using sun reflectors for his face! His cancer treatments are over and now he’s in New York rehearsing for a 9 month tour of the musical “La Cage Au Folles.” Luckily, he also has a 38 year old girlfriend, Barbara Sturm, who happens to be a doctor

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DENNIS HOPPER: HE’S NOT TOO SICK TO GET A DIVORCE

We confess we are perplexed by Dennis Hopper’s decision to DIVORCE his wife Victoria, considering he’s in the late stages of cancer. They’ve been married almost fourteen years – that’s Dennis’s longest marriage out of five – and they have a 6 year old daughter, Galen. Friends of Dennis say it’s obviously about the money – that he wants her cut out of the will. People on Victoria’s side say that Dennis is incapacitated mentally from the drugs he’s taking and making bad decisions. Two of Dennis’s adult kids have been living with him and Victoria at his compound in Venice, California, and he has another daughter he hasn’t spoken to in years. Why would a dying man go to the trouble to divorce the wife he’d been getting along with until now? We’re confused. Any lawyers out there with opinions on this?

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