Chelsea Handler

JOAN RIVERS AND CHELSEA HANDLER: SHAME ON BOTH OF YOU!

On one hand we like to think this nasty feud between Joan Rivers and Chelsea Handler is a clever publicity stunt to publicize the E! channel. But if it’s NOT, they should BOTH be ashamed. It’s difficult to tell who’s being more childish: Joan has a hot temper and she described Chelsea to Howard Stern as “a whore who slept her way to the top,“not funny” and “a drunk.” She sounds jealous and resentful of Chelsea’s success. Chelsea dismissed Joan’s comments “What the f—do I care about Joan Rivers?” as if Joan is of no importance. Joan IS important- she’s a pioneer in the field of female comedians. Yes, she paved the way for women like Chelsea. Chelsea IS funny and she’s the first one to admit she drinks and slept with the boss. Both Chelsea and Joan are demeaning themselves with this petty behavior- don’t they know women must stick together? Get a grip, you two.

CHELSEA HANDLER HAS THE LAST LAUGH

Perfect timing. Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend Andre Balazs just broke up and according to Deadline Hollywood, she has now signed a 25 million dollar deal with E! to continue her talk show Chelsea Lately, for two more years and develop new shows. Who has time to regret the loss of a boyfriend? This money is particularly astounding because the E! channel is notoriously cheap with their everyday staffers and secondary performers. We remember when we were doing The Gossip Show at E!, it took YEARS to get a $25 raise….

CHELSEA HANDLER AND ANDRE BALAZS’ DAYS WERE NUMBERED, ANYWAY

It’s no surprise that Chelsea Handler and her boyfriend hotel mogul Andre Balazs have gone their separate ways. Andre has a lot in common with George Clooney – he was married once, but prefers being single and socializing with the world’s most attractive women. And like George, he’s charming and generous and is considered a “great catch.Uma Thurman dated him for a few years before she realized he was not marriage material. Chelsea, 36, dated Andre for almost a year so it was a long run but never had much of a future. We have a feeling they will sneakily get together a few more times before the split is final.

CHELSEA HANDLER ONE-UPS ARROGANT CHATEAU MARMONT HOSTESS

Ever since she started dating Andre Balazs, the owner of Chateau Marmont, Chelsea Handler has been getting VIP treatment at the Hollywood hotspot. The employees there are known for their haughty manners and one overdressed hostess attempted to seat Chelsea and her friends at an undesirable indoor table. Chelsea had a short conversation with the manager and was immediately led to the best table. The arrogant hostess was scolded, but not fired, and she won’t make THAT mistake again.

CHELSEA HANDLER DOESN’T WANT TO MAKE FUN OF HER CELEBRITY FRIENDS

Chelsea Handler gained fame poking fun at celebrities on her E! show Chelsea Lately, but now she’s announced that she wants to do something more “important” and NOT celebrity-centered. Translation: She is BECOMING a celebrity herself, and wants to be accepted as one of the group. As long as she’s teasing and tormenting celebrities as part of her act, they will politely avoid her. Also her new boyfriend Andre Balazs, is tight with many celebrities who probably regard Chelsea with caution. Consequently, Chelsea is moving over to the other side….

ANDRE BALAZS MIGHT RESCUE THE EERO SAARINEN TWA TERMINAL AT JFK AND WE LOVE HIM FOR IT


The best news we’ve heard in ages is the possibility that Chelsea Handler’s boyfriend, hotelier Andre Balazs, is considering building a boutique hotel at the empty Eero Saarinen designed TWA terminal at JFK. The Port Authority is hoping for just this kind of salvation for the architectural masterpiece. The space age terminal was completed in 1962, and reflected the optimism of jet travel of the future. Sadly, it has been empty for years, but is still unsurpassed as the most magnificent and seductive terminal in the world. Those lucky enough to have experienced the terminal when it was functioning felt their spirits soar as they walked into “the world of tomorrow.” (We confess we are very passionate about this structure.) Hopefully, if Balazs takes over, he will keep it as intact as possible. As you can see, it is incredibly photogenic.

CHELSEA HANDLER FORGOT ALL ABOUT 50 CENT WHEN SHE SAW ANDRE BALAZS

Chelsea Handler might be advised not to put 50 Cent in her rear view mirror too hastily. The two were linked until Chelsea showed up at the Sundance Film Festival in Utah with Uma Thurman’s exboyfriend Andre Balazs. Chelsea reportedly had her paws all over Andre, who owns seven hip hotels in New York, Miami, and Los Angeles. And he has at least one girl in every port. The highly desirable Balazs (masters degree from Columbia Univ, among other things) enjoys attention from many women and makes it clear he has not intention of settling down with one. Chelsea’s not used to being just one of the pack.

WE GET THE JOKE, CHELSEA, BUT IS IT REALLY A JOKE?

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News
Of course, Chelsea Handler was joking when she posted this intimate bedroom photo with 50 Cent on Twitter. They both seem to enjoy the publicity they garner as a pair. She captioned it “ I don’t know why anyone thinks I would ever date a rapper!” Chelsea and Fitty appear to be kissing on a bed, but keep in mind, behind every joke there is an element of truth.

CHELSEA HANDLER WON’T BE BADMOUTHING ANGELINA JOLIE ANY MORE

Jennifer Aniston was mortified to hear that her new friend Chelsea Handler has been badmouthing Angelina Jolie. Jen and Chelsea became friends after Jennifer guested on Chelsea Lately several times and they spent Thanksgiving together with friends at Cabo San Lucas. This week Chelsea did a stand up show in Newark, New Jersey, and she lambasted Jolie, calling her a “homewrecker” and worse. Chelsea went on to taunt Jolie, who admits she “doesn’t have many female friends.” (We all know what that means.) Chelsea said “It’s because she’s a bitch and a f****** c***! Chelsea might not be aware that while Jennifer appreciates her support, the LAST thing she wants is to bring up the subject of Angelina- especially in a negative way. She wants to put it all behind her. Certainly Jen will diplomatically ask Chelsea to drop this subject from her act.

DON’T BOTHER CHELSEA HANDLER WHEN SHE’S SHOPPING AT TARGET

House photos: via RealEstalker

No sooner had we heard that Chelsea Handler invested six million dollars in a new Bel Air estate, than she was spotted shopping for items for her new home. Chelsea’s new and gorgeous 5800 sq ft mansion has six bedrooms and seven bathrooms and a 50 foot pool with an outdoor fireplace. (Can’t you picture Chelsea and 50 Cent lounging at the pool?) We’re particularly impressed by the closet with a view. Obviously the talk show queen is doing well, but she’s still thrifty. She was seen yesterday clad in white cowboy boots pushing a shopping cart full of paper products, candles, and trinkets at Target. When fans greeted her she gave them a fast nod and quickly went about her business.