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AVRIL LAVIGNE WILL TAKE YOUR MONEY, BUT YOU’D BETTER KEEP YOUR DISTANCE!

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Avril Lavigne’s Brazilian fans are making fun of her rules for taking photos with her. She’s very popular in Brazil and her loyal fans stood in line after her concert and handed over over $350 each to pose for a photo with her. But she wouldn’t get anywhere NEAR them! She kept a huge distance with a “no touching” rule. The fan above created a website with his photo and invited others to submit theirs. He pointed out that while Britney and Justin Bieber charge more for photos with fans, at least they get close and look friendly. And Lady Gaga gets friendly in photos for NO CHARGE at all!

L RON HUBBARD GETS CLOSER TO PERFECTION EVERY DAY

Here’s an interesting story we just heard about Scientology: A source told us about a friend who was experienced in editing and touching up and restoring photographs. This young woman was hired to work at a Scientology center and her job description was to work on the archival collection of photos of L Ron Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, and make sure all photographs of him were flattering. In his early years the science fiction writer ran with a bar-hopping boozy bunch of writers in LA. He was a messy guy and all evidence of THAT was unacceptable. Undesirable items were to be removed from pics– all liquor glasses and bottles, cigarettes, and maybe a bottle of pills that could be seen in the background, disappeared. And Hubbard was prettied up – spots were erased from his clothing, his hair was neatened up. Unattractive companions were also removed. All archival photos would eventually be re-imagined in ideal perfection. Before the job was finished, however, our girl was fired because someone overheard her on the phone talking about a wild night she had experienced and her behavior was judged as unseemly. So someone else was hired for the position of glorifying L Ron Hubbard.

HACKED ACTRESSES: “THOSE NUDE PHOTOS ARE FAKE!!!” (OH, REALLY?)

How come every time a female celebrity’s phone is hacked, it just happens to have nude photos on it? Not long ago, it was “Gossip Girl” Blake Lively, Mila Kunis, Scarlett Johansson – and most recently, Christina Hendricks and Olivia Munn. (above) The first thing the hacked actresses do is fall all over themselves, claiming the nude photos are NOT HER! We’ve heard that before. What boggles the mind is the fact that actresses of normal intelligence are dumb enough to HAVE nudie photos on their phones. And they seem to make it awfully easy to get hacked by taking no precautions. Police, with many better things to do, are assigned to “investigate.” Memo to hacked actresses: you’ll get no sympathy from us.

WHITNEY HOUSTON’S FAMILY IS ACCUSING ONE ANOTHER OF LEAKING DEATH PHOTOS

The worst nightmare of Whitney Houston’s family has come true. A photo of her in her open casket is on the cover of The Enquirer. (Why the family didn’t have a closed casket after the hotel photos leaked is a mystery to us, but…) Of course this appalling photo raises the question of WHO DID IT? Who betrayed the grieving family and sold this photo? Everyone is pointing a finger at each other, but let’s consider the facts. It’s most likely someone rather hard up for money. Whitney’s questionable brother? We doubt if the culprit is actually family. We deduce that an entourage member who is suddenly completely jobless and without resources, is guilty. We wonder if this cover will sell like Elvis did…

WHITNEY HOUSTON’S FAMILY IS WORRIED SICK ABOUT HER AUTOPSY

Whitney Houston’s family has bigger things than Bobby Brown to worry about. It has occurred to her family members that there seems to be a “leak” in Whitney’s entourage. SOMEONE sold those photos taken inside Whitney’s suite – showing the room service table etc. (above) That person obviously needs the money- especially now that Whitney is gone. But what the family fears most is that someone will leak Whitney’s autopsy photos from the coroner’s office – and they’ll end up online for everyone to see – like Tupac Shakur’s. If THOSE photos leak, the family will be devastated.

NAKED PHOTOS OF SCARLETT JOHANSSON! CALL THE FBI!

The FBI is investigating hackers who stole x-rated nude photos from Scarlett Johansson’s cell phone. Excuse us, but is this really an FBI matter? Somehow we imagined the FBI as working on assignments more important to the country. Would they be as involved if an ordinary Joe’s phone had been hacked and HIS not–so-sexy photos stolen? If YOUR cell phone were hacked, would you call the FBI? A private investigator, at most. So THIS is where our taxpayer dollars are going. Surely the Feds have more important things to do. And Scarlett should know better than to have nude photos of her private parts on her phone.

EVEN BLAKE LIVELY CAN MAKE AN OCCASIONAL ERROR IN JUDGMENT

Blake Lively has been loudly protesting that those nude photos of her supposedly taken BY her are absolutely fakes! We think she’s really embarrassed by her own youthful indiscretion. The pics were taken some time after 2007 when that particular phone came out, and she appears to be in a hotel room or trailer. Back then she was just starting “Gossip Girl” and dating Penn Badgley. We’re betting she was off doing a photo shoot or something, felt lonely, and sent him these pics on an impulse. Little did she know that in a few years she would become an important movie actress, a fashion muse for Karl Lagerfeld and Leonardo DiCaprio’s new squeeze! SOMEHOW the photos leaked, and she sicced her lawyers on the case screaming their denials. Ho-hum.

IN 1964 THE BEATLES CAME TO HOLLYWOOD

Photo: Bob Bonis

Rolling Stone featured some Lost Beatles photos in their last issue and we love this one from their first visit to Los Angeles. They arrived her in August, 1964, for their concert at the Hollywood Bowl. The Ambassador Hotel cancelled their reservations because they were afraid of the mobs of fans that followed The Beatles. British actor Reginald Owen saved the day and rented his Bel Air mansion (above) to them for the four days they were in town.

“PRINCE” FREDERICK SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ZSA ZSA

Shame, shame, shame on Zsa Zsa Gabor’s so called “Prince” for setting up this photo op and selling the pictures (with himself prominently featured, of course) ! We’re all happy that she was able to celebrate her 94th birthday, although “Prince” Frederick saw to it that her own daughter Francesca was not invited to participate. Anyone familiar with Zsa Zsa, knows that she would NEVER have willingly posed for a photo without having her hair and makeup done! Apparently she is too out of it to protest, and her greedy husband propped her up and took advantage. This isn’t the first time he’s had her photographed for profit when she’s too ill to object. It’s disrespectful and we understand why Francesca loathes the “prince” whom SHE prefers to call the “queen.”

THIS IS HOW COURTNEY LOVE COMMUNICATES WITH HER DAUGHTER

Poor Frances Cobain – she has a restraining order against her mother Courtney Love but her mother always finds a way to reach out to her. When Courtney saw photos of emancipated Frances and her boyfriend at Coachella in May, she wrote loads of rambling tweets, sending messages like “Don’t overtext – and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea who will treat us like princesses.” She also added “You’re just like me in every way – and I know you HATE it!” To regain Frances’ attention, Courtney recently posted a collection of outrageous photographs of herself (according to her visible tattoos, these are not new) on Facebook.This one features transsexual model Amanda Lepore whipping Courtney’s bare bottom.