Paris Hilton

ELLIOT MINTZ CLAIMS THIS WOMAN IS HIS FITNESS COACH

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Media consultant/Publicist Elliot Mintz enjoys keeping company with some spectacular women – like Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Shauna Sand, in spite of the fact that he carries a man-purse. Consequently, he surprised no one when he showed up at Craig’s restaurant with the voluptuous woman above. (As we recall Eliot spent so much time ushering Paris Hilton around that they started to LOOK ALIKE with the same color spray tan and coordinated clothes.) His latest “discovery” is fitness coach/ model Elina Shaffy, whom he claims whipped him into shape.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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PARIS HILTON’S $13,000 ATTEMPT TO STEAL LIMELIGHT FROM KARDASHIANS

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With Kim Kardashian’s baby North causing paparazzi stampedes, Paris Hilton knew she’d need a gimmick of her own to get any attention at all. So instead of rescuing a needy pup, Paris paid around $13,000 for “the world’s tiniest” Pomeranian. The four month old puppy is imported from a breeder in South Korea and is expected to weigh only two pounds when it’s full grown. When Paris carries it like an accessory (at the airport above) she gets plenty of attention.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

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PARIS HILTON THUMBS HER NOSE AT KIM K AND FLAUNTS HER BOYFRIEND AND HER SLENDER FIGURE AT CANNES

Paris Hilton is secretly thrilled that her former friend Kim Kardashian, who stole her thunder, is being tormented by the press for her lumpy figure and terrible maternity outfits. She’s even more pleased to see that Kim’s boyfriend Kanye West seems to be avoiding his baby mama and their relationship is FAR from Ideal. All this has inspired Paris to dress up and flaunt her model boyfriend River Viiperi while they frolic at glamorous parties in Cannes. We bet she’s praying that Kim NEVER loses that baby weight.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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THE KARDASHIANS, AMONG OTHERS, CAN’T TAKE A JOKE!

What happened to everybody’s sense of humor? This silly Ford ad, which was leaked but never published or used in any way, has caused the mischievous ad agency employees responsible to be fired and Kardashian lawyers are threatening a lawsuit! Apologies are flying all over the place! Feminists are riled up! What’s WRONG with you people? Don’t you know a JOKE when you see one? The “ad” was captioned ”Leave Your Worries Behind.” Paris Hilton is gleefully driving the three bound and gagged Kardashian sisters who stole Paris’s fame and popularity, in the roomy Ford trunk. Obviously Paris sees the humor in it because she’s the only one not complaining – about an ad that was never used. Stop overanalyzing- it’s a funny mock-up, nothing more.

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WHOSE PREPPY BOYFRIEND IS THIS?

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Yes, that’s Paris Hilton, 31, sitting at the Mango fashion show in Barcelona during Fashion Week watching her 21 year old boyfriend River Viiperi work the catwalk. He’s all cleaned up for the brand’s preppy spring look. Usually it’s the other way around – Paris’s boyfriends are usually watch HER make personal appearances.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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PARIS HILTON’S NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

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It’s a safe bet that Paris Hilton was outraged when she heard that her arch-rival Kim Kardashian was paid six figures to host a Las Vegas New Year’s Eve party. Paris remembers not so long ago when SHE was the party girl who got paid the big bucks. Now that the paparazzi have all but forsaken Paris, there are still a couple of ways she could reinstate herself. Either she can get a FAMOUS boyfriend (no one seems to care about the current bf, model River Viiperi ) OR she can get pregnant.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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PARIS HILTON FLAUNTS HER YOUNG MODEL BOYFRIEND IN MAUI

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Paris Hilton, 31, was secretly THRILLED to be back in the news after she was taped by a NY taxi driver making questionable comments about gays to her gay friend on the phone. Eager to take advantage of her sudden relevance, she rushed her young boyfriend to Maui to show some skin for paparazzi. She’s dating 6’2” Calvin Klein model River Viiperi, who’s only 21 and from Spain. He’s probably very obedient.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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LINDSAY LOHAN MAY HAVE TRADED ONE BAD HABIT FOR ANOTHER

Lindsay Lohan may be sober but she seems to have replaced her substance abuse with an ANGER problem. She crashed a Ciroc party at Coachella and immediately started a big fuss demanding to get photographers thrown out. The party people WANTED the fotogs to cover the event and refused to evict them. They reminded her “It’s not YOUR party!” Lindsay got into such a nasty argument with paparazzi that SHE was asked to leave. Later she returned and apologized but she was still agitated. (Because she was sober?) When Paris Hilton and Brandon Davis came to the door (Remember “firecrotch?“) she told the organizers NOT to let them in. Of course they DID let them in, but Paris and Brandon were very relaxed and made no trouble while Lindsay fumed and fussed and made a big deal out of avoiding them. (Even Lindsay’s companion (assistant?) looked embarrassed.)

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DID FORMER IT-GIRL PARIS HILTON THINK HER FAME WOULD LAST FOREVER?

Recently we reminded you that Paris Hilton’s fame has slipped to the level that she had to bring her own photographer to events to take her picture. What we didn’t realize is how distraught she is about that fact. She was recently in Australia for a club opening with her DJ boyfriend Afrojack and she was interviewed on the Australian morning show Sunrise. The correspondent politely asked her “What will you do when you’re not famous any more?” She answered that she’d like to have children and live a normal life. But later she started fuming and obsessing over the not-so-probing question and asked the show not to televise that portion of the interview. They refused, and she retaliated by having Sunrise cameras banned from the red carpet event and ALL future interviews with her. Touchy, touchy…

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PARIS HILTON CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT GETTING HER PICTURE TAKEN

How far has Paris Hilton’s celebrity clout fallen? There was a time, not long ago, that she was greeted by assembled paparazzi every time she left her house. The antics of Kim Kardashian and Lindsay Lohan nudged her out of the spotlight, and suddenly her photos weren’t worth much. Still, if a photographer bumped into her, he took her picture. Now that paparazzi aren’t trailing her, Paris has to hire a photographer to document her activities. She’s in Miami hanging out with her DJ boyfriend Afrojack, and brings her own photographer to take pics of her dancing.

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