Chris Brown

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE RIHANNA BACK IN THE CLUTCHES OF CHRIS BROWN

We’ve always insisted that Rihanna and Chris Brown had a secret agreement that they would get back together after a sufficient amount of time passed since that horrible beating in 2009. Both of their handlers pointed out that they could lose enormous amounts of money for endorsements etc if they reunited too soon and lost their credibility. Chris had to rebuild his shattered image and Rihanna had to set an example for battered women. Plus the judge made it impossible for Chris to be in the same vicinity as Rihanna until recently. Three years have passed and Chris attended Rihanna’s birthday party and now they’ve recorded two songs together. Coincidentally, the model Chris has been dating says they have an “open relationship.” Inch by inch and step by step, Rihanna and Chris are getting closer….But Rihanna beware: he’s still volatile and arrogant and shows no indication that he learned his lesson.

HEY JAY-Z, WE DIDN’T CLAP FOR CHRIS BROWN AT THE VMA’S EITHER!

We LOVE Jay-Z for not forgetting what Chris Brown did to Rihanna and refusing to clap for Chris’s dancing performance on the VMA’s. Granted, Chris IS an amazing dancer and his number was spectacular, but Jay-Z discovered Rihanna and is very close to her. Despite his talent, Chris continues to reveal his flawed personality and ignorant attitude toward gays and women. He has never convinced anyone that he truly regretted beating up Rihanna and flaunts his arrogance. We applaud Jay-Z’s loyalty to Rihanna.

BOO HOO: ROSIE O’DONNELL FEELS SORRY FOR CHRIS BROWN

Rosie O’Donnell is occasionally the voice of reason, but with Chris Brown she missed the boat. When she jumped to his defense after the window-breaking incident, she insisted “He’s a victim, too.” Rosie said “I just don’t know why this kid seems to be held to a different standard than anyone else.” (PERHAPS, Rosie, he does things most other people – especially celebrities- don’t do!) Rosie seems to blame everyone but Chris for his behavior- like Chris himself does. Why Rosie has a soft spot for violent behavior, we don’t know, but maybe her ex-girlfriend does.

CHRIS BROWN STILL HAS THAT CHIP ON HIS SHOULDER

Chris Brown’s meltdown – yelling, window smashing, and shirtless exit – at ABC after his interview with Robin Roberts, has caused observers to wonder whether there is a pharmaceutical explanation. He seemed hostile and less than charming when the interview started – was he on drugs? Either way, it’s evident he still has anger issues and continues to blame everyone but himself for the Rihanna incident. It’s been two years and he still won’t address the beating or speak apologetically about it. Robin Roberts was lucky he didn’t take out his fury on her.

EMBARRASSED RIHANNA CONFESSED THAT SHE HAD A SECRET TRYST WITH CHRIS, BUT CAME TO HER SENSES

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Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

We were RIGHT when we told you that Rihanna would go back to her abusive boyfriend Chris Brown after he beat her up. Chris was her first big love and she had a terrible time getting over him. Now Rihanna has confessed that she DID reunite with Chris, but eventually put love aside and came to her senses. She couldn’t bear to talk about the incident until now because she was still in love with Chris. We give Rihanna a lot of credit – both for confessing and for leaving Chris for good. We only hope she doesn’t change her mind. Since legally Chris is restrained from going anywhere near her, maybe she’ll have time to fall for someone else.

GUESS WHOSE PANTS ARE FALLING DOWN

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Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Who didn’t have the sense to pull up his pants before he jumped into his SUV? It’s Chris Brown, of course, arriving at LAX. He’s happy because the single he released after his arrest “I Can Transform Ya,” is gradually gaining velocity and moving up the music charts. Judging by his front view, you’d never guess his pants are so saggy.

WRIGLEY’S DOUBLEMINT GUM IS ABOUT TO DOUBLE CHRIS BROWN’S MISERY

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Chris Brown hasn’t heard the last of Wrigley Doublemint Gum. He had a very lucrative contract with Wrigley and his ad campaign was not only successful, it produced his hit song “Forever.” Chris had apparently signed up for another five year stint with Wrigley and finished a number of commercials when the Rihanna incident happened. Wrigley pulled his ads and fired Chris. Now they are said to be preparing to sue Chris for all the money they lost due to his bad behavior. They spent big bucks on ads featuring Chris along with other celebrities like JayZ and Mariah Carey. Since Chris was in them also – everything had to be ditched. Wrigley is mad and we hear they hope to recoup the money Chris caused them to lose with a big fat lawsuit.

CHRIS BROWN WANTS TO BECOME A MINISTER

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It sounds highly improbable, but a friend of Chris Brown leaked this surprising piece of information about him: It seems Chris is aspiring to become an ordained minister! The source says he’s determined to prove to the world that he’s a changed man so he’s been reading the bible and studying to become a man of the cloth. “He’s become more religious since the February incident (in which he beat up his girlfriend Rihanna,) and he’s found God again. He wants to become a minister – at least part time.” He already looked like he was going to church when he appeared on Larry King.