Transition

SORRY JESSICA ALVES, YOU DO NOT NOT LOOK LIKE BARBIE

Up until 2019, Brazilian Rodrigo Alves had dozens of painful plastic surgeries to look like the perfect Ken Doll- including bicep and six-pack enhancement. After all that, he decided he’d rather be the perfect Barbie doll, and had the male surgeries reversed and started transitioning into a “woman.” Can you imagine having your adams apple removed? Now he’s  called Jessica Alves, and he’s chalked up over a hundred surgeries hoping to look like Barbie, but looks more like  Lil’ Kim. We just HAD to know where he got all the money needed to finance his indulgence and it turns out he inherited millions from his mother’s wealthy parents. We just cannot imagine how Jessica sleeps at night with all this extra padding injected into his/her body…

 

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA  Jessica at UK premier of The Psychopath Life Coach

RICHARD SIMMONS: CALL IT A DAY AND FIRE YOUR LAWYERS!

Richard Simmons is going to waste a whole lot of money on legal fees if he continues to pursue his lawsuit against The National Enquirer. A judge has already declared he doesn’t have a case because claiming he was transitioning into a woman is not career or character damaging. The magazine has an abundance of photos of Richard dressed up in drag from head to toe. (It’s rumored that a former assistant provided some of them) Keep in mind, The National Enquirer has excellent lawyers who fanatically examine every story before it’s published, so they seldom lose a lawsuit. Our advice to Richard: Save your money!

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

PR SAVVY RICHARD SIMMONS: IS HE PULLING A FAST ONE ON US?

Awhile back when Richard Simmons went into hiding under mysterious circumstances, we felt sorry for him – sensing he was having some sort of physical or mental problems. The fact that he has not been SEEN for years makes everyone assume his is radically changed somehow – perhaps grossly overweight, crippled, or like the Enquirer suggested, living as a woman. He’s had two suspicious hospital stays this year – were they really for plastic surgery, liposuction, transitioning? This week’s exit from the hospital suggests that Richard is turning into some sort of melodramatic Sunset Boulevard character and enjoys every moment of it. Imagine being hustled out of the hospital covered entirely by a blanket with a police escort to shoo the paparazzi! SOMETHING was under that blanket! Richard just upped the ante – the first photo of him is now worth BIG BUCKS! Is he manipulating all this or is he an innocent recluse?
(Above, Richard as a bride on Halloween, 2013)

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

RICHARD SIMMONS FANS WOULD HAPPILY “SWEAT TO THE OLDIES” WITH EITHER FIONA OR RICHARD

Some of Richard Simmons’ longtime aerobics class members were excited to hear that he might be transitioning into a woman and they immediately started speculating about what “Fiona” would WEAR if she returned to teaching classes! Many of Richard’s followers credit him for helping them lose weight and change their lives and they hope to “Sweat to the Oldies” with Simmons again! They hoped classes would resume soon but it doesn’t look promising. Richard denies that he’s transitioning but still has no explanation for his odd behavior and withdrawal from society. Remember, for YEARS, Bruce Jenner and his family scoffed at Enquirer rumors that HE was transitioning. And look how THAT turned out. Richard has lots of fans who will be happy to welcome him back in ANY form.
(Above, Richard at one of his last public appearances at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in 2013)

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

IS RICHARD SIMMONS LIVING AS A FEMALE?

The National Enquirer dropped a BOMBSHELL today and it was almost like old times! The tabloid says Richard Simmons, 68, has been out of sight because he’s been having hormone treatments and secret surgeries to turn himself into a WOMAN! That explains a LOT! They claim he is now living as a female and calling himself Fiona. The Enquirer says lately he’s been going in and out of his house totally unrecognized. (She might be the woman next to you in the supermarket!) Apparently they have juicy photos to illustrate the story. And this scoop could easily be TRUE – remember the Enquirer wrote about Bruce Jenner having a sex change for YEARS before it happened! And the fact that the Enquirer’s lawyers okayed this headline story is another indication that it’s most likely accurate. If Richard wants to live as a woman – you go, girl! Live and let live! Can a reality show be far behind?

BEVERLY HILLS RICH KID EJ JOHNSON ENJOYS LOOKING LIKE A GIRL, BUT DOESN’T WANT TO BE A GIRL

Since he lost tons of weight, EJ Johnson is having fun dressing like a girl, but he doesn’t want to BE a girl! There was online speculation that EJ was aiming to transition because his wardrobe has become flamboyantly feminine. But EJ says NO WAY, he’s perfectly happy just as he is. He does have some crooked seams in those fishnet hose, however.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

CAITLYN JENNER: WELL, IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA…

Caitlyn Jenner has been soundly denying that she regrets transitioning into a woman, but we thinks she doesn’t want to admit she has doubts. Kardashian biographer Ian Halperin brought up the idea of Caitlyn’s regret, and attributed much of it to religion. He observed that her religion doesn’t really approve of being GAY and Caitlyn is definitely still attracted to WOMEN. More important, we feel Caitlyn has come to the realization that being a 6’4” 65 year old woman is not thrilling – or easy. She has to slather on the makeup, wigs and eyelashes, not to mention foundation garments, just to leave the house. And – guess what- despite all that work, no one thinks she’s pretty or flirts with her. She WAS a far more attractive man. And the kind of women she likes are not interested in dating a woman who used to be a man. What’s a girl to do?

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI