Jessica Alves

MORE MONEY THAN COMMON SENSE?

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER

Twenty years ago, Brazilian Rodrigo Alves, who apparently has money to burn, decided to spruce up his looks with plastic surgery in hopes of looking like a “human Ken doll.” After spending half a million dollars on dozens of surgeries, and over 10 years under the knife, he admitted he REALLY wanted to resemble a Barbie Doll! It cost him another half million dollars to switch sexes and become Jessica Alves. He’s 40 now and we think he looks WAY beyond Barbie. He says he’s through with plastic surgery and will only spend money to “slow the ageing process.” Alves is now “looking for love” and laments that he is “sapiosexual” – that means sexually attracted to very intelligent people. But will intelligent people be attracted to Alves?

Bottom Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

SORRY JESSICA ALVES, YOU DO NOT NOT LOOK LIKE BARBIE

Up until 2019, Brazilian Rodrigo Alves had dozens of painful plastic surgeries to look like the perfect Ken Doll- including bicep and six-pack enhancement. After all that, he decided he’d rather be the perfect Barbie doll, and had the male surgeries reversed and started transitioning into a “woman.” Can you imagine having your adams apple removed? Now he’s  called Jessica Alves, and he’s chalked up over a hundred surgeries hoping to look like Barbie, but looks more like  Lil’ Kim. We just HAD to know where he got all the money needed to finance his indulgence and it turns out he inherited millions from his mother’s wealthy parents. We just cannot imagine how Jessica sleeps at night with all this extra padding injected into his/her body…

 

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA  Jessica at UK premier of The Psychopath Life Coach

JESSICA ALVES AIMS TO BE YOUR “DREAM GIRL” NO MATTER WHAT IT COSTS

Okay, I know some of you readers just hate it when I post items about Jessica (formerly Rodrigo) Alves, but I never get tired of his/her antics. And it’s utterly amazing what men will do to themselves to turn into women! Alves is pictured here in a country I never heard of – Baku, Azerbaijan, to be exact. It’s a Muslim country that was once part of Russia. Apparently Jessica just got more cosmetic surgery there – body contouring liposuction and an endoscopy mid-facelift. After 90-plus surgeries, it’s becoming more difficult for Alves to find doctors willing to do such extreme work. We are hoping that he/she will give up on the idea of having a womb transplant and becoming the first transgender woman to have a baby…

ANOTHER BARBIE WANNABE

Ever since Rodrigo Alves surgically turned himself into Jessica Alves, he/she has yearned to be Barbie and wear pink. Alves endured 91 cosmetic procedures – the most recent were a face and lip lift, a trim of the jaw and chin bones to make his head look smaller, and voice feminization surgery to raise the pitch. It’s utterly AMAZING what men will do to themselves to become women! The biggest mystery of all is WHERE does Alves get the money for all these surgeries and transitions? Does Brazilian-born Alves come from a ridiculously wealthy family? Another question: Where does he/she find legit doctors WILLING to pull off these iffy surgeries? Will all this time and effort help Jessica find Mr Right?

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

JESSICA ALVES WANTS A WOMB TRANSPLANT SO SHE CAN GIVE BIRTH!

Jessica Alves is now in Brazil, hoping to become the first transgender woman to have a womb transplant. AND have a baby! It was only last February that she became a woman after sex reassignment surgery, and already she says she will only feel truly complete if she can give birth! We still wonder WHERE she gets the mountains of money she spends on surgeries, travel and designer clothes. Since her only known job was on Big Brother UK, she must have very indulgent parents. Apparently doctors in Brazil theorize that since womb transplants have been successful for women, they might work for a transgender woman. Womb donors would consist of dead donors or women who transitioned to become men and had wombs removed. (Think about it- someday there might be banks of donated sex organs available to aspiring transgender people!) Jessica, 38, has already frozen her sperm for her IVF pregnancy (with a donated egg) if she has a successful womb transplant. She’s hoping for a “brood of children.” Right now she’s taking tests and exams before the operation to make sure she’s an ideal candidate.

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

JESSICA ALVES LOOKS LIKE A GERMAN OKTOBERFEST BARMAID

Okay, some of you are a bit annoyed that we keep featuring photos of Jessica (formerly Rodrigo) Alves, but Jessica’s photos are the most astonishing available at our small budget. Above, Jessica is walking around in London and we can only IMAGINE the reaction of people on the street. Apparently Jessica has body dysmorphia and while attempting to perfect her looks, does NOT realize how unusual her appearance IS. Certainly Jessica enjoys attention, but she obviously doesn’t realize her desire to be beautiful has gotten WAY out of hand…

Photo: Jessica posted this on Instagram

IT’S HARD WORK BEING A GIRL

Brazilian born Jessica Alves (formerly Rodrigo Alves) is leaving no stone unturned when it comes to self-glamorization. When he gave up the idea of looking like a Ken doll, Rodrigo endured multiple surgeries to morph into a trans-female and (12 nose-jobs later) his nose has almost entirely disappeared, while his/her chest seems to inflate daily. (As you can see, Jessica has no qualms about discussing or displaying her surgeries) Just putting on all that makeup in the morning must be a daunting task. Alves has been living in London where she recently had a lip lift and chin surgery. Above, Jessica is having about eight pounds of long extensions attached to her head -ouch! Might be time for some body dysmorphia therapy…

Top Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

Bottom Photo: Instagram