Rehab

HEATHER LOCKLEAR TAKES BAD PHOTOS TOO

We were startled by this unflattering photo (left) just taken of Heather Locklear – ESPECIALLY when compared to the one on the right from March. No, we don’t think she aged overnight – everybody takes a bad photo now and then. Heather, 48, always bounces back. The past few years have been difficult for the Melrose Place actress – she’s had depression and substance abuse problems and she’s checked herself into rehab several times – the last session completed July 3. But Hollywood loves her and she’ll always have opportunities.

EVEN REHAB CAN’T SAVE MEL GIBSON’S REPUTATION AND CAREER

Usually a long and seemingly sincere visit to rehab is the first step for Hollywood celebrities hoping to clear up their reputations – and it generally WORKS. People love to forgive. Mel Gibson’s handlers (what’s left of them) are certainly trying to talk him into rehab right now, but when the arrogant actor is in the throes of his addiction (to alcohol and possibly other substances) and he’s in denial. (Dr Drew of Celebrity Rehab is probably licking his chops as we write this.) Gibson has insulted and offended just about everyone – women, Jews, Latinos, gays, journalists, blacks, cops, non-Catholics, – and he’s already blown his chances for redemption. Rehab isn’t enough. We suggest he move back to Australia and live on a farm out of the limelight.

JESSE JAMES : SHOULD I GO OR SHOULD I STAY?

Let’s examine this behavior: Jesse James supposedly has checked BACK into rehab after leaving this weekend – because Sandra refused to take his calls. It sounds like he lost hope of reconciliation and decided to give up. At the same time, rumors have surfaced that Sandra is preparing divorce papers and that Jesse will get nothing because of their prenup. The prenup stated that if he CHEATED he could not demand money. It sounds like Sandra was afraid he’d be unfaithful from day one! WHY did he go back? The chances of Jesse lasting 45 days in sex rehab are slim. The odds of Sandra filing for divorce increase every day. It’s the only way she’ll ever get her life back.

CHARLIE SHEEN MADE A PHARMACY STOP BEFORE CHECKING INTO REHAB

Photo Credit: Buzz Foto

Who would have guessed that Charlie Sheen was on his way to rehab again when this photo was taken? Charlie was seen leaving Michael Jackson’s favorite pharmacy on Bedford Drive in Beverly Hills with a bag full of prescriptions. Next thing we knew, TMZ says he just checked into rehab – a good move, considering his court case…

BROOKE MUELLER IS NOT A SYMPATHETIC VICTIM

Brooke Mueller has turned out to be the lesser of two evils. Charlie Sheen has a long history of drug abuse and domestic violence problems, he’s been accused of porn addiction, had multiple rehabs, and probation violations. He married a woman who was treated for alcohol and crack (!) addiction in 2001 and is back in rehab for the same addictions. Brooke has been trying to cover up her own problems, but the night she called 911 and accused Sheen of threatening her with a knife, she opened a can of worms. Brooke is not the innocent wife in this sick story. She’s currently back in rehab and presumably Charlie is watching the twins. What a pair.

RIP TORN THOUGHT THE BANK WAS HIS HOUSE

Now it makes some sense. A highly inebriated (twice the legal limit) Rip Torn, 78, was found wandering around inside a Connecticut bank with a loaded gun in his pocket and his fly unzipped. Officers who came in response to the bank alarm found shoes and a hat by the back door, and broken glass next to the door. Torn didn’t understand why troopers showed up to arrest him and put him in handcuffs and kept asking WHY they were taking him away. Here’s the deal: The “Men in Black” star had been drinking at a bar near his home (he walks, since his DUI) and he was so wasted when he left that he mistook the bank for his house. The bank DOES look like a home – it’s in a two story colonial house with an attic. Torn took off his hat and boots at the back door and when his key wouldn’t work, he broke the glass to get in. When troopers arrived he still thought he was at home! He was charged with trespassing, burglary, and firearms counts, after spending the weekend in jail. Last we heard he’s off to rehab.

CASEY JOHNSON HAD HIT ROCK BOTTOM

We were horrified to learn that the late Casey Johnson was living in “Grey Gardens” type squalor when she died. Her rented LA house was filled with garbage and had no electricity, water, or gas, because she couldn’t pay the utility bills. She kept her Porsche hidden in a garage so it wouldn’t be repossessed. The walls were covered with graffiti and the swimming pool was like a green swamp. How she managed to get dressed up and go out is a mystery. Neighbors said sleazy looking types stopped by her house at all hours. When she refused to go to rehab, her parents cut off her finances. They’ve been criticized for letting Casey live like that, but they thought “tough love” was the right move, and might force her to get help. If they HAD supported her financially, they would have been facilitating her self destructive habits. We feel sorry for the parents – Casey had a bad drug habit and probably mental illness – you can’t FORCE someone like that to clean up unless they WANT to. Neglect is not the issue here. There really is no answer, is there?

REDMOND O’NEAL STILL CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT

He’s about to turn 25 and it seems Redmond O’Neal has spent most of his life in rehab or jail. Having drug-oriented parents DOES make a difference, it seems. During his current six month stint at Impact rehab, Redmond took his first 24 hour pass and went right out to do drugs. Ironically, or not, his father Ryan has been visiting him on a weekly basis. Now Redmond has been locked up again and charged with violating probation, which could get him six years in prison. If his mother’s tragic death didn’t inspire this guy to clean up his act, we can’t imagine what WILL.

EDDIE VAN HALEN HAS PULLED HIMSELF TOGETHER

Newlywed Eddie Van Halen barely resembles the person he was a couple of years ago. The last time we saw him he looked homeless – dirty stringy hair, rotten teeth, nasty clothes, and beat up shoes that flapped because they were so worn the soles detached. It’s amazing what giving up alcohol can do for a person! Eddie married his girlfriend Janie Liszewski last month (no alcohol at the reception) and his 50 pounds thinner exwife Valerie Bertinelli was at the wedding. Both Eddie and Valerie have given up their vices and improved their lives.

This A List Hollywood star had had public battles with drug abuse. He seems to have put it all behind him and settled into a successful career and happy home life. What his wife doesn’t know is that he has started quietly smoking pot with his teenage son and his son’s buddies. (The scene reminds of Ryan O’Neal’s early indiscretions with his kids.) The actor doesn’t see any harm in it, but friends who know are worried.