Spokesperson

WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE JENNIFER LOPEZ?

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Jennifer Lopez has some new businesses – among them is bodylab.com – a wellness, fitness and weight control system that she’s promoting. Jennifer promises that you can become “the girl of your dreams” with these methods and products developed BY women FOR women. She’s the perfect spokesperson because Jennifer has worked tirelessly to improve herself. And she’s not bad to look at.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

ROBERT DOWNEY JR: THE RICH GET RICHER

Robert Downey Jr is in the right place at the right time again. He landed a deal with the Taiwanese HTC electronics corporation, which is seeking a new image to challenge Apple and Samsung. The Sherlock Holmes star will star in their new two year ad campaign for 12 million dollars. The first complete ads will be released this week but we’re not impressed with this sample – although Downey is appealing, as usual. Downey already happens to be the highest paid actor in Hollywood (75 million last year) according to Forbes.

WATCH FOR “REAL HOUSEWIFE” MELISSA GORGA AT YOUR LOCAL SUPERMARKET

If Melissa Gorga is as wealthy as she wants us to think, why did she take a job promoting vodka? “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” star lives in one of the biggest mansions in New Jersey and spends tons of money on clothes and frivolities. She says her very successful husband Joe (who installed a recording studio in the house for his wife) is a property developer who converts warehouses into condos. So we were surprised to learn that Melissa was making a personal appearance at our local Gelson’s supermarket in West Hollywood “signing autographs and talking about Voli light vodka.” Shoppers who saw her there reported that she was “prettier and smaller than she looks on TV.” One would think a wife with a house that opulent would be above supermarket demonstrations, but you never know!

NIKE THINKS MICHAEL VICK’S CRIMES ARE NO BIG DEAL- THEY HIRED HIM AGAIN

What’s WRONG with these Nike people? The company just resigned animal torturer Michael Vick as their spokesperson. He’ll design a line of shoes for them and earn millions of dollars. Back in 2007, Nike dumped Vick after he was convicted of participating in a dogfighting ring and animal cruelty. Now the Nike rep says “Michael acknowledges his past mistakes?” Is THAT all it takes? What Nike may not know is that SOME CRIMES ARE UNFORGIVABLE. Should child molesters, rapists, wife beaters, etc, be given a pass if they “acknowledge” their crimes? Has Nike seen photos of the dogs he destroyed? We consumers who love our pets never want to see Michael Vick’s face again. We can live with Tiger Woods’ bad behavior, but Michael Vick just oozes evil. Nike will never look the same to us.

FERGIE AND SKINNY WATER ARE JOINING FORCES

Fergie has dropped seventeen pounds in the past year and she’s often seen drinking or carrying around bottles of Skinny Water (above.) She credited the water for helping curb her appetite and increase her energy without added calories. Needless to say, the Skinny Water people were THRILLED and immediately made her an offer to appear in their print ads and billboards. Fergie knows that Jennifer Aniston makes millions as spokesperson for smartwater, so she’s not adverse to the idea. They’re negotiating a deal now.