Suri

KATIE HOLMES HAS ANOTHER LIFE LESSON FOR SURI: HOW TO SIT

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Photo Credit: Wire Image

It’s never too soon to start teaching your little girl how to behave in public. Katie Holmes demonstrates to Suri how to sit like a lady no matter where the photographers are. Suri appears to be a fast learner. This skill might come in handy some day when Suri climbs out of a limo.

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KATIE HOLMES SHOWS SURI HOW OTHER KIDS LIVE

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Katie Holmes is multitasking as she pushes Suri on a swing and takes directions on the phone from her husband Tom Cruise. She’s in New York rehearsing her Broadway show and she took a break to spend time with her little girl. It looks like they’re at a public city playground but we can’t imagine Suri playing where other city kids play. (Did Katie clean off that swing with antibacterial wipes?) Maybe the bodyguards are just out of camera range.

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HERE IS THE ORIGINAL "ROSEMARY'S BABY" STORY ABOUT TOM CRUISE

This story was posted in May, 2006, and Andrew Morton, the author of “Tom Cruise: The Unauthorized Biography” called us to discuss it and other matters when he was researching his book. We asked him not to credit us because books can be problematic legally and we are afraid of the Scientologists. You read it here first!

We hear that Suri Cruise is being closely watched by the Scientologists because she COULD turn out to be L Ron Hubbard reincarnated! It brings to mind Rosemary’s Baby, doesn’t it? Anyway, the Scientology bunch has been eagerly awaiting the return of their departed spiritual leader. They believe when a Scientologist dies that they select a baby’s body and take over the soul. When the baby grows up it is drawn to Scientology.

They calculate that Hubbard would select a very special child in which to make his return. Tom Cruise and Katie would be ideal parents for an L Ron Hubbard baby. Consequently they are looking for any sign that Suri has a link to Hubbard. Most likely they’ll have to wait until Suri can talk and begins her auditing classes. Who knows? She might start quoting passages from Dianetics.

For those of you who think my reference to Rosemary’s Baby is far-fetched: Here’s a synopsis of the movie from Yahoo:

“A young married couple, trying unsuccessfully to conceive, finally have it happen when the husband strikes a deal with the devil worshippers next door. All of this is unbeknownst to the poor wife/mother who soon realizes she could be having Satan’s child.”

I rest my case!

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IT LOOKS LIKE THE CRUISE FAMILY COULDN'T BE HAPPIER

tomkatcutHere’s Tom and Katie Cruise showing off with the most positive thing in their lives: baby Suri. The press likes to dwell on Tom’s Scientology fanaticism and Katie’s supposed “unhappiness and isolation.” But photos like these of the family together with adorable little Suri prominently featured, makes everything seem idyllic. Suri looks like she’s learning to walk. At what age does the brainwashing start?

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CONSPIRACY THEORY

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Ok, we weren’t going to bother spreading this story, but whenever we tell it to anyone they encourage us to do so. So here we go. Keep in mind this is a RUMOR, but it explains a lot. The story goes that when Katie Holmes split with her exboyfriend Chris Klein in March 2005, she may or may not have realized she was pregnant with his baby. She started dating Tom in April, 2005, and according to this tale, when Tom found out she was expecting, he not only didn’t MIND , but he insisted on taking credit for the pregnancy. They abruptly got engaged in June 2005. Since the baby was scheduled to be born too soon into their relationship, Tom and Katie faked the birth date. She actually gave birth months EARLIER than the announced birth. She wore padding for the last few months after the REAL birth, and made sure she was photographed. In case you don’t remember, Suri’s announced April 18 birth was oddly undocumented – there were no hospital records or specifics. Where WAS Suri born? Tom and Katie didn’t want their baby photographed because it would be apparent that Suri wasn’t newborn. After a few months it’s not so easy to recognize a baby’s exact age. Have you noticed that Suri has uniquely slanted eyes like Chris Klein? Keep in mind this is simply a rumor – form your own conclusions.

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