Diet

SIMON DOONAN SAYS ” EAT GAY FOOD AND YOU’LL NEVER GET FAT”

Our fashion obsessed friend turned writer, Simon Doonan (Barneys) has done it again. Another book, that is, and it’s loaded with our favorite thing: sweeping generalizations. (We were lucky to be included in Simon’s first book “Wacky Chicks.”) His latest, “Gay Men Don’t Get Fat” is a whole new take on diets. He says gay men don’t get fat because they eat gay food. Simon declares there are two food groups: gay and straight. A typical gay food is sushi, and a typical straight food is a burrito. Simon advises everyone to “eat like a gay man and you will never get fat.” Eating like a gay man means enjoying leafy salads w/dressing on the side, or macaroons, all with an attractive presentation. One pertinent tip from the book: Simon advises readers to “watch “Hoarders” because it’s so disgusting it will ruin the appetite.” We’re hoping a “gay restaurant “ will open soon in our neighborhood.

WHAT REALLY CAUSED WESTON CAGE AND HIS TRAINER TO BRAWL ON THE STREET?

Dieting is hell, but who would guess that it would enrage Weston Cage to the point of brawling and getting locked up in a psycho ward ? Apparently he and his trainer were at the modest Farmer’s Kitchen restaurant in Hollywood where you would expect everything to be healthy. When his trainer nixed the food that the hungry death metal singer wanted to order off the menu, Cage (frontman for Eyes of Noctum, video above) flipped out and tried to kick him. After numerous bloody punches, the trainer subdued Cage on the sidewalk until cops could cart him away. (Sounds like they’re BOTH on steroids or some kind of machismo booster.) Nicolas Cage is with Weston at the hospital where he’s under observation. Weston’s music is definitely on the dark and violent side, but he always seemed like an okay kid.

JENNIFER HUDSON: THIN GIRLS HAVE MORE OPPORTUNITIES

Jennifer Hudson says she didn’t realize she was overweight until a red carpet reporter asked her how it felt to be a “big girl in Hollywood.” Jennifer was startled because she thought “In Chicago, where I come from, I’m a normal size!” (Midwesterners do tend to be hearty!) When she started Weight Watchers, Jennifer says she also started feeding her son the right way too. 80 pounds later, Hudson has been bombarded with job opportunities and has dawned on her that “big girls” in Hollywood don’t get nearly as many offers and scripts.

KIRSTIE ALLEY AND THE SCIENTOLOGISTS WERE DANCING IN THE STREET

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Kirstie Alley took time off from dancing to open her Organic Liaison store on Vermont Avenue in LA but she managed to get the whole neighborhood riled up. Vermont was blocked off for Kirstie’s loud street party – the music could be heard 3 blocks away. What she DIDN’T do was invite any of her neighbors or other shop owners who were inconvenienced and angry. Of course she DID invite plenty of Scientologists. The diet foods store is located not far from the massive Scientology complex in the neighborhood. (The cult bought what used to be a huge hospital and all the surrounding buildings for their headquarters. (taxfree!) Looks to us like dieting another sneaky way to lure and convert people, like their so-called drug rehabs.

KIRSTIE ALLEY IS COUNTING ON MAXSIM TO DANCE THE POUNDS AWAY

Kirstie Alley’s “Organic Liaison” Scientology diet plan apparently didn’t work for her, so she’s hoping to knock off the pounds while rehearsing for “Dancing with the Stars.” Fortunately she has a big strong dance partner, Maxsim Chermovsky, to push her around the floor. We’re thinking this might actually work for her because Maxsim can teach her the art of self-discipline. Not much chance of Maxsim romancing his partner this season…..

WHAT ZAC EFRON LEARNED FROM VANESSA HUDGENS

When they were together, (now they seem to be friends with benefits) Vanessa Hudgens used to tease Zac about being obsessed with his looks – from his skin to his weight. Thanks to Vanessa, he learned how to cover up blemishes – with her concealer, and he learned how to control his weight. Zac observed when Vanessa signed up for the ZEN gourmet diet home delivery service. For $35 a day, three fresh meals are delivered with the appropriate calorie count. Zac had to gain about 18 pounds of muscle for “The Lucky Ones” in which he plays an Iraq war vet (above.) The movie wrapped before Christmas and now he wants to get rid of the weight so he’s eating 1800 calories a day, thanks to ZEN….and Vanessa.

GWYNETH PALTROW’S FAVORITE FOOD IS KALE

Gwyneth Paltrow is taking a lot of heat for releasing a cookbook next spring called ‘”My Father’s Daughter.” It’s her family’s favorite recipes for things like corn chowder, dumplings and pizza. As if SHE would ever consume such delectables! Gwyneth has spent most of her adult life addicted to exercise and AVOIDING food- she’s usually on a macrobiotic diet. Suddenly she wants us to believe she is a gourmet who loves to eat! Ever since she appeared on that PBS show where she traveled to Spain with chef Mario Batali to sample the cuisine (she was very fussy,) she aspires to become a young Martha Stewart. Skinny actress/models are NOT the people you turn to for cooking expertise. Imagine Tori Spelling coming out with a cook book!

US WEEKLY THINKS JENNIFER ANISTON IS TURNING INTO DORIS DAY

Us Weekly is picking on Jennifer Aniston again. They insist she requested to have her close-ups retouched in her movie coming out in August, “The Switch.” They say she’s terrified of ageing and as a consequence she has a grueling exercise regimen and is always on a starvation diet. NEWSFLASH: what actress in Hollywood DOESN’T want to look youthful and employable as long as possible? Jennifer does a great job of maintaining her looks and she can’t help it if the only job offers she gets are for romantic comedies. Back in the 60’s, Doris Day was in the same “romantic comedy” rut and her movie close-ups were soft and blurry so she wouldn’t look her age. We think Jennifer’s perfectly normal and wonder why magazines want to make her appear to be love-starved and despondent about her looks.

DAVID BECKHAM WORRIED ABOUT HIS WEIGHT! HAS HE FORGOTTEN WHO HE’S MARRIED TO?

Injured David Beckham’s in New York doing the talk show circuit and it’s interesting how sometimes he uses those big crutches and sometimes he limps around with a boot over is foot. His damaged Achilles tendon is expected to keep him out of commission for seven months and he’s expressed concern that the lack of exercise could cause him to gain weight. As if THAT would ever happen – has he forgotten that he lives with one of the champions of self denial when it comes to eating! Victoria knows more about dieting than Jenny Craig!