Crimes and Misdemeaners

OCTOMOM IS ALREADY COLLECTING TAXPAYER'S MONEY

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The octuplet story just keeps getting more sordid, because the tormented American taxpayers are footing much of the bill. Not only has Octomom Nadya Suleman been receiving almost $500 a month in food stamps, but according to the LA Times, she collects federal benefits for three disabled children, from her previous six. And her Kaiser Medical Center has asked California’s health plan for the poor to pay her monumental hospital bills! To no one’s surprise, Nadya’s fertility doctor turned out to be a shady character. Besides his insane fertilization of Nadya, Dr Michael Kamrava has been accused by former employees of engaging in “systematic insurance and tax fraud.” He requires patients to pay in CASH, “which was never entered into the computer or deposited in a bank.” Note to President Obama: Let’s take a long hard look at disability payments in general.

RIHANNA: TWO BLACK EYES AND BROKEN TEETH, AND IT ISN'T THE FIRST TIME!

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Any minute now, photos of Rihanna’s beat up face are going to be released by police and we hear they AREN’T PRETTY. In fact we were told that Rihanna has TWO black eyes and broken teeth! (Those gorgeous teeth!) This was no love-slap. And we got a few more details: the battling couple was driving in Hancock Park (looking for Korean BBQ?) in Chris’s rented Lamborghini when the arguing escalated and they pulled over. Rihanna had supposedly found numbers in Chris’s phone that he shouldn’t have. She grabbed the car keys and pretended to toss them out the window. THAT did it. He FREAKED out and let her have it. And we also heard THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE.

STEVEN ADLER SAVORS HIS LAST DAYS OF FREEDOM

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Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

Looking high as a kite, Celebrity Rehab’s failed participant Steven Adler seemed very happy to be taking a stroll on Robertson Blvd over the weekend. It might be his last walk for a while. The former Guns n Roses drummer has been ordered by an LA judge to check back into rehab by Monday February 9, at the latest. And this rehab isn’t televised. Will he cooperate, or end up back in court?

HIT AND RUN: DID CHRIS BROWN GIVE RIHANNA A BLACK EYE?

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Rihanna and Chris Brown’s PR people are frantically calling all over town trying to kill the story about Chris supposedly hitting his girlfriend Rihanna in a rage. We heard that Rihanna “disappeared” for awhile at a pre-Grammy party she atttended last night with Chris and that ignited the blow-up. Chris was NOT happy with her explanation and later when they were driving home alone together they started arguing and stopped the car. According to our source the fight turned physical and Chris struck Rihanna and she called 911. He supposedly ran away. Since Chris was on the lam and Rihanna was bruised, they both backed out of performing at the Grammys. Reps are trying to get the couple out of this nasty situation gracefully. Last we heard they claimed the pair had an “auto accident.”

RYAN O'NEAL SETS AN EXAMPLE FOR HIS SON REDMOND

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Photo Credit: Splash News

After Ryan O’Neal and his son Redmond were arrested in September for possession of methamphetamines, Ryan’s lawyer insisted that Ryan had confiscated the drugs from his son and they weren’t his. But yesterday the story changed – Ryan pleaded GUILTY to drug possession and agreed to enter an 18 month drug treatment program. Charges will be dropped if he completes the program. Redmond was already on probation when he was arrested and he’ll be arraigned February 20th. Ryan is not supposed to associate with drug abusers, but Redmond will probably be shipped off to another rehab or even jail. And you think YOU have a messed up family!

COURTNEY LOVE'S CONNECTION TO THE MORTGAGE CRISIS

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Courtney Love’s blogs are a chore to read and an insightful colleague was kind enough to translate her latest ravings for us. Apparently she has come to the conclusion that the mortgage industry meltdown is directly related to the conspiratorial acts committed by her former employees and confidants who embezzled a FORTUNE from her. Courtney insists her losses total 800 million dollars. She says that trust funds created for her daughter were raided and the money used, along with Kurt Cobain’s stolen social security number, to buy thousands of pieces of property in fake names across the US, with each piece refinanced to buy more. Thus, the mortgage meltdown. She says she has proof but no one will listen to her. And this investigation has taken up so much of Courtney’s time, that her long delayed album, Nobody’s Daughter, will not be released anytime soon.

COLIN FARRELL LEARNED HIS LESSON

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Before he left Dublin to promote “Pride and Glory” around the world, Colin Farrell got stopped by police for talking on his cell phone while driving. It’s illegal in Dublin. The cops were not the least bit star struck when they realized who he was. He was charged not only with the cellphone violation, but also for not wearing a seatbelt! Later Colin was heard telling friend about the incident and expressing his amazement that they didn’t let him off with just a warning.

RYAN AND REDMOND: HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS SOUNDS LIKE NO FUN

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Ryan O’Neal, 67, and his son Redmond, 23, showed up in Malibu court today, looking like they were miserable in each other’s company. They were relieved that their possession of methamphetamines cases were continued until January 9. In spite of that, we’re betting those family holiday dinners will be strained, at best.

OJ SIMPSON : THE PARTY'S OVER, TIME FOR CHURCH

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The highlight of OJ Simpson’s week at his new address in the Clark County Detention Center was a visit to church. According to Las Vegas gossip Norm Clarke, OJ was allowed out of his cramped cell to attend worship services. His codefendant partner in crime, CJ Stewart, also attended the same service. We’re betting CJ rues the day he ever got involved with Simpson. Up until the last minute, OJ was so confident he’d have a hung jury that he had an acquittal party planned. His sentencing is December 5th.

OUR HERO FRED GOLDMAN WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG

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Let’s give credit where credit is due. If it weren’t for Fred Goldman, OJ Simpson would NOT be going to jail. After OJ was found not guilty of the murders of Nicole and Ron Goldman, Ron’s family filed a civil wrongful death suit and won 33 million in restitution. Of course, after that OJ did everything he could to conceal his income and relentless Fred filed lawsuit after lawsuit over the years harassing him. Fred never gave up his “punishment” of OJ even though ignorant people (including some of Nicole’s family) criticized him for being “money hungry.” For YEARS, Fred Goldman endured the insults because he KNEW the only way to punish OJ was to take his money. And he was 100% RIGHT! OJ got caught committing a crime to cover up his income! Heroic Fred Goldman deserves an apology from everyone who called him greedy.