Tabloids

CHARLIE SHEEN AND BROOKE MUELLER: THREE IN A BED

We can hardly wait. According to Radaronline.com a woman is now negotiating to sell her story about having three way sex with Charlie Sheen and his wife Brooke Mueller. She says Brooke is bisexual, besides being a crack addict and alcoholic. She and Charlie have even MORE in common than we suspected. Anyway, this mystery woman says she’s not the ONLY third party the couple has bedded, but she hasn’t mentioned drugs yet. We can picture the tabloids salivating over this story. And Tiger heaving a sigh of relief.

KIM KARDASHIAN WON’T ADMIT THAT REGGIE BUSH CHEATED

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Kim Kardashian refuses to admit it, but the reason she and Reggie Bush split up is because HE CHEATED! And in a MAJOR way! For months, he had an affair behind Kim’s back with a Latina stripper from Atlanta and he flew her around for assignations when Kim wasn’t with him. When Reggie finally split with her, the stripper went to a tabloid to sell her “kiss n’ tell” story. Kim found out and to save face, she made a quick deal with the tabloid so the story was squashed. She learned that Reggie had OTHER affairs also, and she was desperate to keep his humiliating behavior a secret. She waited until the right moment, and called the romance OFF. Needless to say, that claim that “nobody cheated” is bogus.

ASHLEY OLSEN LOVES FASHION AND GOSSIP

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Photo Credit: Splash News

Olsen watchers might be interested to know that Ashley and her assistant were seen at the Fairfax/Melrose newsstand around noon. (At least we THINK it was Ashley – she looked rather healthy and wore a fedora and skinny jeans.) Ashley grabbed all the new fashion mags- including W and Vogue, along with all the gossip mags, and paid the $97 tab with her black AX card. The two girls hopped into her black Mercedes and were gone before almost anyone noticed them.

BRITNEY SPEARS : HAIR STORIES

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We’re not buying Star‘s story about Kevin Federline threatening to have Britney‘s hair analyzed for drugs. They claim he planned to use the results against her in court in their battle for child custody. The tabloid claimed THAT’S why Britney cut off all her hair. If that were the case, why would Britney leave all her chopped off hair behind on the salon floor? She knew it was collectible and could easily end up on eBay or in a lab. We don’t believe the lice story either.

COURTENEY COX DROPPED THE BALL

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Sorry, Courteney, we think you missed the boat when it comes to your new series Dirt. You have a lot to learn about tabloid journalism and celebrity weeklies. Your fatal error was making the show a dreadful melodrama / soap opera. Take it from an expert, there is nothing more FUN than celebrity gossip! The crazy, nervy things that hapless reporters have to do to get a scoop are fascinating. (For your information, editors are NOT seen at premiers or nightclubs trolling for news.) And celebrities’ outrageous behavior is ALWAYS hugely entertaining. Yes, the photographers are a bunch of eccentric characters who delight in outsmarting each other. Tipsters are often actors who want to make their competition look bad. And don’t forget those power hungry publicists. It’s a crazy exciting world that changes every day, but it’s always good for a LAUGH. And THAT’S what Dirt lacks.

MR CONFIDENTIAL: TABLOID GOSSIP RULES!

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Here’s the perfect Christmas gift for anyone who loves gossip or Hollywood history: MR. CONFIDENTIAL . It’s a book about the man behind the famous 50’s scandal magazine and it’s written by my friend Sam Bernstein. Robert Harrison, the publisher behind Confidential, adored homosexual exposes and gleefully wrote about those “lavender lads” – Liberace being “mad about the boy” and Tab Hunter‘s “gay pajama party.” He even outed Van Johnson by declaring his conversion to heterosexuality. The “baritone babes” Lizabeth Scott and Marlene Dietrich got their share of stories too. I asked Sam to tell me about a scoop that Confidential COULDN’T print and he recalled one about Elvis. Back in 1957. A PR guy claimed that Elvis had an ongoing affair with another famous teen idol. (Tab? Troy? Fabian? Bobby?) Supposedly they got together for “man-play” – wrestling and beyond. Confidential couldn’t substantiate the story and didn’t print it. WE don’t think it was true either. In Tab Hunter‘s bio he mentioned that he was miffed when Elvis stole his “beard” Natalie Wood away from him.

SUDDENLY SINGLE

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On Wednesday June 28, Jessica Simpson started preparing for the holiday weekend with a fake tan – of course. She was waiting her turn in the lobby of the Uvasun tanning salon in West Hollywood and picked up a magazine on the table. As she was flipping through the pages she suddenly let out a squeal and blurted out “I’M NOT DIVORCED YET!” She tossed the weekly back on the table clucking “They’re wrong – they ALWAYS get it wrong!” But it didn’t dampen her spirits. She laughed and joked with other customers before getting her tanning bed and liquid sun combo so she’s bikini ready for the weekend. (Two day later the divorce apparently WAS final, according to US Weekly.)