Ryan Lochte

RYAN LOCHTE HOPES TO DANCE HIS WAY BACK INTO OUR GOOD GRACES

The clear winner in the Ryan Lochte scandal is Dancing with the Stars. The ageing series has been losing viewers and attracting a lesser grade of “stars.” Ryan is sure to attract lots of viewers at least in the beginning. But appearing on the show IS a risk for the disgraced Olympian. If he’s a clumsy dancer and gets voted off early, it might add to the list of reasons not to like him. Even if he’s a skillful dancer, will viewers VOTE for him? Can he redeem himself? This makes for an interesting show…

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

RYAN LOCHTE – WHICH IS WORSE: THE LYING, OR THE LAME APOLOGY?

Could we possibly dislike the grill-wearing Ryan Lochte any MORE? Just wait and see. His swim teammates would probably love to lynch him for stealing all their glory when they returned triumphantly to the USA. We bet those guys involved in the “incident” think he’s a creep for leaving town FAST after delivering his tawdry story – HE LEFT THEM HOLDING THE BAG! He’s 32 years old and still peeing in public and drunkenly vandalizing public restrooms? And LYING to his mother? Certainly Brazilians are disgusted with his smug attempt to make himself look brave and their country look dangerous. We are SO grateful for those security cameras that told us the truth! His lawyer obviously prepared that carefully worded shifty “apology” that totally skirted the issue and admitted nothing. Thank you Ralph Lauren for removing his photos from your ads! We’ve seen more than enough of him.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

RYAN LOCHTE: KIM KARDASHIAN HAS THE LAST LAUGH

Where did we go wrong? Swimmer Ryan Lochte, winner of five gold Olympic medals, has admitted he dreams of becoming as successful as Kim >Kardashian! (Is Kris Jenner already dialing his number?) Lochte just got his own reality show on E! called “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?“ and he’s beside himself with excitement. Ryan is especially impressed with Kim because she “started from pretty much nothing and now everyone, everywhere, knows who she is.” Amazing. This hugely successful and disciplined athlete ENVIES Kim Kardashian! Viewers will tune into Ryan’s show just to see if he’s in his right mind.