Anna Nicole Smith

LARRY BIRKHEAD TAKES DANNIELYNN SHOPPING ON ROBERTSON BLVD

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Photo Credit: Buzz Foto

Larry Birkhead’s thirst for attention hasn’t yet been quenched. He went shopping on Robertson Blvd this weekend with Dannielynn and was immediately surrounded by paparazzi. He dragged Danniellyn – who’s getting cuter by the minute – in and out of several stores including Kitson Kids. We can’t decide if she looks more like her mom Anna Nicole Smith – or her father Larry.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: LOVE CHILD?

sotoscutWe are enthralled by the article in the Phoenix New Times about the Native American from an Arizona reservation who claims Anna Nicole Smith is the MOTHER of his five year old son Marshall Black Deer Soto! Johnny Soto claims he met Anna in 2001 and they had a torrid affair while she was vacationing alone at Paradise Valley’s Sanctuary Resort and Spa. He has quite a story: Soto says he was working as a maintenance man at the resort and sex-crazed Anna took a shine to him and continually called to have him fix things in her room. Eventually she seduced him and they began a three week sex marathon. Soto called in sick and Anna ordered room service so they rarely left their townhouse. Soto claims she begged him to do a naked wardance with feathers from a dress stuck in his baseball cap. He described her as having “scarlet fever” ( when an Anglo falls for a Native American) After four weeks, according to Soto, Anna knew she had to return to LA for work, but she discovered she was pregnant. She feared the controlling Howard Stern would want her to get an abortion. So she started stuffing herself and packed on ten pounds to disguise her condition. She left declaring that she loved Soto and would return as soon as possible. Right before she took off she popped some Vicodins “for the flight.” Anna started flying Soto in for visits and put him up at the Safari Inn Motel on Olive Avenue, not far from Burbank airport. Anna kept packing on the pounds to keep Stern from “flipping out” and she kept her pregnancy a secret from him until the last months. The baby was born in secrecy at Providence Saint Joseph’s Hospital in Burbank, and since E was about to start filming her show, Anna granted custody to Soto. She flew them in on weekends and sent Soto $10,000 a month. She developed post-partum depression and slid heavily into drugs. Soto monitered visits. The monthly payments stopped when Anna died. To back up his story, Soto has a stack of papers: a birth certificate with Anna’s name on it, flight records, bank deposits, phone records, love notes, etc as evidence. If this story isn’t an utterly brilliant and well researched spoof, move over Danielynn, there’s another contender for that fortune!

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: LAST MOMENTS

seminolehotelSuite 607 at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida where Anna Nicole Smith spent her last living moments, has been out of commission since she departed. The Seminole Indians have removed the furniture and are in the process of “purifying” the room. They don’t want any evil lurking on the premises, so an Indian Shaman is clarifying the area. They still haven’t decided what to do with the room’s furnishings – might we suggest eBay?

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: COULD IT BE TRUE?

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The news that Anna Nicole Smith WANTED TO BE BURIED ALIVE with her son Daniel’s lifeless body has made us think about the distressing rumor we presented a few weeks back. According to The New York Post, Anna freaked out at Daniel’s funeral and sobbed to Howard K Stern “If Daniel has to be buried, I want to be buried with him!” In the weeks after the funeral, Stern said that the inconsolable Anna “cuddled with a picture of Daniel in her bed and cried herself to sleep. This was a constant thing.” We can’t help but note that these revelations make our ‘rumor” seem more plausible as time goes by….

NICOLE KIDMAN: A CHALLENGING ROLE

UntitlednicoleannaSince the Anna Nicole Smith drama started, Hollywood writers have been frantically scribbling to be first with the ultimate script based on her life and death. And don’t think ideas about who should play Anna aren’t already being tossed about. The only thing slowing down the production of Anna’s life story is the fact that there is no end in sight. Things keep coming up. Our whimsical colleague, Simon Doonan of the New York Observer, believes that Nicole Kidman should snatch up the rights to Anna Nicole’s biopic ASAP. He gleefully suggests that if Nic would pack on the pounds to play Anna, it could be her “Raging Bull.” We LOVE that mental picture!

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: "MEN ARE JERKS"

In 1997, a conservative couple was dining at the Two Bunch Palms resort restaurant in Palm Springs when Anna Nicole Smith pranced into the dining room wearing nothing but a bathing suit. Much to their surprise, Anna plopped down at their table and started philosophizing about men. “All women want is to be loved – and all men are jerks!” she moaned. The man turned red because she was caressing his leg under the table! Anna asked the wife if she’d like a piece of fruit and put a strawberry in her mouth and leaned over to feed it to her. A friend of Anna’s came and pulled her away but not before Anna invited the blushing couple for cocktails later!

ANNA NICOLE SMITH'S LONELY NIGHTS

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We have just learned that there might be MORE potential fathers for Anna Nicole Smith’s baby – whether they come forward remains to be seen. Here’s the story: Anna Nicole and her gay “assistant” Kimmy used to hang at Toucan’s Tiki Bar when Anna was in Palm Springs. It was the fall of 2005. Kimmy was friendly with a gay guy at the bar who sold drugs and he and Anna struck up a friendship. (surprise, surprise) Anna started calling the guy (who shall remain nameless) from her LA home and whining about her love life. She wanted stud service. A friend witnessed a call where Anna moaned to her friend “I’m SO bored! I want someone HOT! Not gay, just really HOT! What’s Eric Nies doing? Can I get HIM in my bedroom? I’m SO lonely!” This Palm Springs guy apparently sent sexy young straight guys to visit lonesome Anna. Who and how many, we don’t know. But they could easily be long forgotten candidates for fatherhood. We’d love to ask Kimmy about this if we could find her. At the very least it indicates that Howard K Stern was NOT her lover.

ANNA NICOLE SMITH: FILLED WITH DREAD

261764870_bc99b826fe.jpgOur Hollywood, Florida source visited the Hard Rock Hotel today and picked up a little information about Anna Nicole’s time there. Hotel sources say that when Anna arrived a few days ago she was “out of it” and slurring her words and she stayed that way during her visit. Also it seemed that Anna was REALLY dreading the court ordered blood test for her baby – and her reasons might be far more complicated that we assumed. Someone actually speculated that the baby might not have been fathered by either Larry Birkhead OR Howard Stern. Keep in mind this is pure speculation, but this person implied that the baby could have been fathered by someone very close to Anna – someone like her own son Daniel. It’s a horrible thought, but remember, Anna lived in a different world than most of us. Hopefully, the eventual blood test will prove this rumor wrong.