Chris Brown

CHRIS BROWN CALLS THE COPS FOR A CHANGE

Since Chris Brown had his first hit album, he’s been having bad experiences with the LAPD. He’s been arrested and accused of violence against women numerous times resulting in prison time, probation, restraining orders etc. Chris has called police “idiots.” (We think he should have been arrested for BREEDING Pit Bulls and selling them online – animal rescues cannot find enough homes for the breed as it is) Ironically, this guy who has a powerful dislike for police actually CALLED police this week for the third time because a woman has been standing in front of his San Fernando Valley house and won’t go away. Security at his gate cannot convince her to leave. She does disappear before the cops arrive, but what can they arrest her for? Standing on the sidewalk is not a crime. Beating up women IS.

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CHRIS BROWN: JUST ANOTHER NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD

Chris “Guns n’ Drugs” Brown (as we like to call him) had a festive night partying at an event at The Nice Guy in West Hollywood on Thursday – little did he know that bad things were happening in the parking area. An apparently drunk driver plowed into a few cars – among them, Chris’s beloved Porsche. When he came outside and saw it, Chris was surprisingly nonchalant – no threats or tantrums. He was happy it was still driveable and just took off. It could’ve been worse.

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CHRIS BROWN MIGHT BE MOVING TO YOUR NEIGHORHOOD SOON!

Pity Chris “guns n’drugs” Brown’s Tarzana neighbors. He has found ways to torment them both day and night. His upscale neighbors have griped about Chris and his buddies racing around and loudly revving up cars and all terrain vehicles on their street, plus late parties and loud music. Don’t forget about that hour police stand-off three years ago when a female partygoer accused him of threatening her with a gun. The street was alive with cops and helicopters for a long time. In fact, the first year he moved into his house, the police were called five times with complaints. So Chris must have expected backlash when he published HIS ADDRESS and invited everyone online to his huge yard sale. Exactly WHERE the “designer” clothing on sale came from is still a mystery, but legions of potentially rowdy fans are lined up for their 15 minute no-phones-allowed shopping spree. Chris‘s mom is the cashier. We predict that Chris is planning to move soon…

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KARRUECHE TRAN: EAT YOUR HEART OUT, CHRIS BROWN!

Karrueche Tran, 29, showed up as a presenter at the BET awards looking THIS spectacular – it’s no wonder the show organizers scrambled to keep her ex Chris “guns n’ drugs” Brown far away from her. (Brown performed and was hustled away immediately after.) She has a five year restraining order against him for threatening her when they broke up. (In case you forgot, she dumped him because he had a baby with another woman!) Brown, 28, wanted her to return all the gifts he gave her, but she justifiably refused. He threatened to make her life miserable and she got the restraining order. THAT’S telling him!

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

CHRIS BROWN IS A JERK IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE

Apparently anger management rehab hasn’t worked for Chris Brown – no matter how many times he’s tried it. No one was surprised when he was tossed out of that fancy New York Life Time fitness club for being obnoxious. He and his friends were playing basketball and other members complained about their loud music and yelling obscenities. When the female manager asked him to quiet down, Chris blew his top and ended up spitting as he stormed out. He and his friends are banned for life from the chain of clubs. Someone who worked with Chris, 27, on a video recently, said that he is just as likely to burst into tears as lose his temper, and did so several times on set! Diagnosed as bi-polar, it looks like Chris is not taking his meds. Having a treatable mental problem is NO excuse for despicable behavior – time to get a grip.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

CHRIS BROWN IS THE EPITOME OF RICH AND STUPID

He’s lucky enough to live in this beautiful home, but Chris Brown acts like a thug in training. Brutalizing Rihanna was not enough – his various crimes since then include BREEDING Pit Bulls – while animal rescues are loaded with homeless ones. His friends are questionable at best and his attitude is obnoxious. Guns and drugs? This lengthy police standoff should never have happened – Brown could have dealt with the situation like an adult. He insists it all happened because he’s black.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

CHRIS BROWN: THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HANG WITH BLOODS

chris brown exits his bet after party at playhouse.

Chris Brown is not as smart as he thinks he is, and now he’s paying the price. Naive Chris thought it was cool to hang out with gang members from the Bloods, but they were just WAITING for an opportunity to take advantage of him. When word got out that Chris was paid $50,000 (presumably untaxed) in cash for a club appearance and he stashed the cash in his home safe, the wheels of crime started rolling. Cops believe that Chris’s so called “friends” pulled off the heist. We knew Chris was dumb when he abused Rihanna. We thought he was even dumber when he admitted that he BRED Pit Bulls. But hanging with thugs – that’s REALLY dumb. Hey Chris, it’s never too late to go to college.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

CHRIS BROWN HAS LITTLE RESPECT FOR PEOPLE OR ANIMALS

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How many foxes had to give up their lives so Chris Brown and Karreuche Tran could look glamorous at Fashion Week in New York? One is too many. Chris and Karreuche were a decorative addition to the front row at Michael Costello’s fashion show. Chris Brown seems drawn to socially unacceptable behavior when it comes to animals as well as people. He BREEDS Pit Bulls (when there are thousands in cages at animal shelters, desperate to be rescued) and now he and his girlfriend drape themselves in what appears to be animal fur.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

BEATING HER WASN’T ENOUGH, NOW CHRIS BROWN HUMILIATES RIHANNA

We can only IMAGINE how hurt and humiliated Rihanna must feel after Chris Brown dumped her with the dismissive “I can’t be focused on wife-ing somebody that young.” Has he forgotten what Rihanna went through after he beat her up? She forgave him and continued for YEARS to quietly love him and miss him and avoid other relationships. Advisors told her NOT to see him again. But she waited and stayed secretly in touch with Chris, convinced he was the love of her life. Eventually time passed and they did famously reunite (many people were turned off by her decision) but it didn’t take long for Chris to get bored and he returned to his caddish ways.