Janet Charlton's

HOLLYWOOD

More than anything,  our desperate housewife wanted fame, especially once her marriage to an A-list actor abruptly ended due to infidelity.  Our gal was trying her hardest to become a bold face name in Hollywood, but her solo effort at a TV show was a bigger failure than her marriage.  So now she’s decided to pitch herself and her kids for a reality show.  Her only obstacle is that her kids want NOTHING to do with being in front of the camera, so our gal has been reduced to bribing them in hopes of changing their minds.  The kids are NOT fans of the expensive private school they attend, so mom told them they could be homeschooled if they land a reality show!

Everyone has their kink, but this reality star’s fetish really takes the cake – literally!  They enjoy having sex with cake.  Yes, you read that right, cake.  They’re unlucky in love and despite their career in front of the camera are painfully shy when not filming , in fact you might say they are reclusive.  They first tried “food sex” with a past partner and now they prefer it to human interaction.  They’ve tried many different flavors, but their preferred cake partner is a dark chocolate layer cake with a buttercream filling and chocolate frosting.  They partially freeze it so it stays together during the act and then when they’re finished they eat some of the remnants.  THAT explains why they can’t seem to shed those pesky extra pounds.

These two A-list cuties are alike in many ways, and always seem to be gushing about how they just adore each other and consider themselves more like sisters than friends.  Yes they are close, but this is more of a case of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Recently they were both up from the same lucrative gig, but they each did their absolute best to sabotage the other from getting the job.  Their cattiness was so intense that the executive in charge of casting passed on BOTH of them, and gave the plum position to someone else.  But our gals didn’t learn their lesson.  Once again they’re up for the same coveted job, and once again they’re scheming to get each other out of the running.

Our hardworking celebrity seems to have unlimited energy to keep up with a very demanding schedule.  All they seem to do is work, work and work.  They claim they’re genetically blessed and that high energy just runs in their family.  While that may be true, the actual reason they never seem to slow down is prescription uppers that are usually prescribed for ADHD.  Yes, our celeb is addicted to Adderal and a dangerously high dose at that.  They score their drugs from the black market since their longtime physician refuses to up the dosage.  The drugs are also the real reason for the celeb’s recent noticeable weight loss.

GUESS WHO!!

Our multitalented performer has battled rumors about his sexuality for ages.  He’s been on the receiving end of speculation since he exhibits many of the attributes of gay men – he’s meticulous about his appearance, loves fashion, and has been known to belt out a show tune on occasion.  While we don’t know if he’s actually gay, we can tell you he is in touch with his feminine side – literally.  Underneath his fancy threads he wears silky women’s lingerie.  He buys his secret stash of intimate apparel online using an alias, and has it shipped to a P.O. Box in a neighboring state that’s only a hop, skip and a jump from where he calls home.  His last partner eventually learned to accept his kinky fetish, but that romance eventually ended for other reasons. He’s currently working up the courage to tell his latest partner about his secret, but he’s hesitant because she’s as strait-laced as a nun. If they suddenly break up this will likely be the reason why.

GUESS WHO!!

Liar! liar! –  her pants are on fire.  This famous for being famous celebrity just dropped a bombshell about her personal life in what many saw as an attention seeking ploy, and the entire thing was a lie.  She’s done her absolute best to pretend to be single and ready to mingle,  but the reality is she’s had a secret lover for quite some time now.  Why keep it a secret?  Well our gal just happens to be hooking up with a married man and the last thing either of them want is negative publicity.  They’ve kept their tryst a secret from even their innermost circle, and it likely would have stayed a secret if not for technology.  A friend was recently visiting our gal and asked to borrow her iPad (when her own phone died)  and inadvertently saw the string of revealing text messages from the secret lover.  The friend played dumb,  but is now going around town blabbing about the secret love affair, and it’s quickly become the talk of their privileged world.

GUESS WHO!!

Our award winning actress has always been thin, crediting good genes and calorie counting to her enviable figure, but the sad facts are:  she’s battled bulimia on and off for decades, overeating and then purging to stay svelte.  When things in her life are going well (like when she won that coveted award) she controls her urge to binge and purge, but lately she’s going through a rough spot and her demons are back.  She’s in the full throes of a bulimic episode, and it’s taking a toll on her health, especially her teeth.  Concerned family members recently stepped in and held a private intervention, so now she’s seeing a therapist and cosmetic dentist to work on her mental health and her smile.  But it remains a touch and go situation, since her life isn’t where she wants it to be.

GUESS WHO!!

These two stars are related by marriage and while they pretend to be best buds, the reality is they can’t stand one another.  They fake it for the cameras but they couldn’t be more opposite.  They are forced to be together during family gatherings, and it’s anything but civil – at one recent event they nearly came to blows arguing over anything and everything.  The exasperated family they share is fed up with the tension and is trying to make peace, even suggesting the gals enter couples counseling together.  They’re both laser focused when it comes to their public image, so they’re able to play extra nice when in public (hugging and kissing like sisters) but when they’re in private it’s war.  No one in this family is looking forward to the upcoming holidays so now there’s talk about spending it apart, but that would deny our gals the chance to post a family gathering on their respective social media accounts.

GUESS WHO!

Our award winning actress looks great for her age, as she’s already qualified to be a member of AARP, and much of the credit goes to her high priced and very in demand plastic surgeon.  But our gal has always been an overachiever, and even though her last full face lift was very recent, she feels she still looks too old and is trying to schedule another one.  Her original surgeon refuses to operate since it’s barely been a moment since her last extensive procedure – so she’s doctor shopping trying to find someone who will do it.  She hasn’t had much luck on the usual celebrity favored list of plastic surgeons ( they don’t want to risk their reputations by overdoing surgery since she’s photographed often) so now she’s researching more aggressive surgeons overseas.  Her closest friends are urging her to NOT do it but she’s determined, and so far no one has been able to talk her out of it.

GUESS WHO!!

This B-list celebrity turned to drugs ever since ending a high profile romance.  His partner was far more rich and famous than he is, and he rode their coattails to fame and fortune.  We haven’t seen much of him recently and that’s because he  secretly moved into a $100,000 a month luxury drug rehabilitation home in the Hollywood Hills.  Without his more stable partner he turned to cocaine and painkillers to numb his pain and his addiction got so bad that he nearly overdosed.  The LAST thing he or his former partner wants is bad publicity, so he chose this pricey rehab because it’s pretty much filled with the rich and famous who are struggling with addiction so discretion isn’t a worry.  He’s been there for awhile and is now able to come and go as he pleases, so he’s able to make public appearances.   Although he’s now completed the program and is sober, he’s afraid to live on his own so he’s gladly paying the pricey fee to extend his stay at the rehab center.  He has his own tricked out room (he redecorated) and enjoys a private chef, a personal trainer and even daily massages. He’s telling friends that he may never move since he’s being catered to like never before and he can easily afford the 100 grand per month, plus he likes the idea of having roommates since living alone is when he falls off the wagon.

GUESS WHO!!