Macho

NICK CANNON IS NOT THE COOL GUY HE THINKS HE IS

Why is nobody criticizing Nick Cannon for having 10 children with five or more different women? Since when is this amusing and okay? Nick gets tons of publicity for his unconventional relationships and NONE of it seems to be remotely negative! One has to wonder about these questionable baby-mamas willing to have children with a man with whom they have no ties. You don’t suppose they’re just interested in fame or money, do you? At least Mariah Carey’s twins were born when she and Nick were married. Consider the NAMES some of Nick’s women gave their children: Powerful Queen, Zillion Heir, Legendary Love. No kidding. How can these kids have normal lives? Does excessive procreation make Nick feel like a big macho stud? Will other guys imitate Cannon so THEY can feel like big macho studs?

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

SIMON COWELL: MORE MISPLACED MACHISMO

We ran across this 1980’s photo of Simon Cowell with Farrah Fawcett feathered hair, flexing his biceps with his then-girlfriend, singer Sinitta. There’s no doubt that he enjoys his own masculinity, and while his hair has gotten shorter, he still has the same style and attitude. That includes his e-bike riding. He didn’t learn a lesson the first time he lost control of his electric bike on wet pavement in Malibu and broke his back 18 months ago. No helmet. To his credit he continued riding – but STILL without a helmet and just had the same accident on a slick street in London. Onlookers had to stop traffic so he wouldn’t get run over. He ended up with a bloody face, possible concussion, and a broken arm.

Bottom Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

BRUCE WILLIS: TOO MACHO FOR A MASK?

Bruce Willis identifies as an Independent voter but he has some conservative ideas. He believes everyone should be able to have a gun. He dislikes government in general – especially the way his tax money is spent. But what’s more important is his behavior in public. Bruce is a tough guy in his movies and apparently he likes that image. He walked into a Rite-Aid drugstore in LA without a mask. Really. (The pandemic is out of control here) An employee approached him and told him other shoppers were uncomfortable and complained. He was politely asked to cover up. Bruce was wearing a scarf he could have pulled up, but he chose NOT to, and walked out of the store empty handed – with a stern look on his face.

Photo: Bruce appeared on Jimmy Fallon and joked about Donald Trump a few years ago

TOM CRUISE WANTS YOU TO KNOW HE’S STILL THE MAN

Funny how whenever Tom Cruise, 54, films some sort of macho action scene or stunt he MAKES SURE the paparazzi are alerted and lined up to catch the photos. Yesterday he rehearsed and filmed a motorcycle scene riding through the streets of Paris for Mission Impossible 6 and he winked and smiled at every opportunity. He’s setting an awful example by not wearing a helmet – but that would have interfered with his carefully coiffed hair.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

LIEV SCHREIBER: NOT AS MACHO AS HE LOOKS – AND THAT’S A GOOD THING!

Liev Schreiber taking the kids to school.

6’3” tough guy Liev Schreiber is master of “the serious face.” He usually plays brutal, silent characters like “Ray Donovan,” but he was totally believable as the brainy Russian chess champ, Boris Spassky, in “Pawn Sacrifice.“ His versatility is no accident – he graduated from Yale Drama School. And by Hollywood standards, his ten year marriage to Naomi Watts is a long one. They have two sons – Samuel and Alexander – and Liev manages to spend a lot of time with them. Above, he’s walking the boys to school in New York. The fact that he’s not so hard-boiled and has a soft side makes him more appealing.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

STALLONE, SCHWARZENEGGER, AND THE HELLS ANGEL: QUIEN ES MAS MACHO?

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Nice to see these three guys in their 60’s looking fit and hanging out at Caffe Roma like teenagers. We’re betting Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger teased their buddy Chuck Zito about his date with Pamela Anderson the other night. Arnold and Sly were arch-rivals back in the day when both were action heroes, but time mellowed them and eventually they became friends after all. Of course you still sense a competitive edge… Arnold has the best taste in shoes.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

IT GETS HARDER AND HARDER TO LIKE CHRIS BROWN

Can Chris Brown do ANYTHING right? His actions and attitude just continue to repel. Now he’s breeding and selling pit bulls. His own dogs are NOT neutered. (He’s far too macho to neuter his dogs like a RESPONSIBLE pet owner.) We saw his ad for CB Breeds a few days ago and couldn’t believe it was real. But it is. He’s advertising to sell 8 two month old puppies for $1000 a pop. Just what the world needs – more pit bulls. Shelters everywhere are overloaded with sad, abandoned pit bulls desperately needing homes. And many people feel because of their unpredictable dispositions they should no longer be bred at all. But, of course, none of these things matter to “Mr Macho” Chris Brown.

WOULD IT KILL JASON STATHAM TO LOOK HAPPY, JUST ONCE?

Jason is taking his macho image a bit too seriously. He walks around scowling even though he’s living the life every man dreams of. He has a beautiful girlfriend – model/actress Rosie Huntington Whiteley – on his arm, and his movie “The Expendables” is about to be released. He’s in New York for the holidays – does life get any better?