MTV Video Music Awards

KANYE WEST IS A BORE

When the VMA’s agreed to give Kanye West FOUR MINUTES of airtime during the live show to do WHATEVER HE WANTED TO DO, they were undoubtedly hoping for something unexpected and outrageous. Dressed in a pajama-like outfit, humorless Kanye slowly droned on and on and on… about nothing in particular. He rambled about a few headlines, a few friends in the audience. He obviously thinks the audience is FASCINATED by his every move so he doesn’t have to make an effort. When the bored crowd started chanting for “the video,” he acquiesced and introduced his video featuring an extraordinary female dancer and unmemorable music. What he lacks in innovation, Kanye more than makes up for with misplaced confidence.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

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HOW DOES NICKI MINAJ FIT HER BUTT INTO A THEATER SEAT?

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We simply cannot believe the back view of Nicki Minaj’s VMA gown. Everything she wears that is not spandex must be custom made because her bottom is so gigantic. Certainly her outrageous shape is a challenge to designers and Nicki must be uncomfortable squeezing herself into an ordinary theater seat.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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MILEY CYRUS AT VMA’S: SHE EMBARRASSED HERSELF TRYING SO HARD TO BE “COOL”

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If we never had to look at Miley Cyrus’s tongue again, the world would be a better place. Her revolting turn as host of the Video Music Awards will be hard to live down. Colorful costumes are no substitute for clever banter. Miley was a bore. Her appearance was all about ME, ME, ME! She flaunted her body in ridiculously skimpy but not particularly clever outfits. (Makes one appreciate Lady Gaga’s imagination) Miley continuously patted herself on the back and tried to appear tough by talking about drugs and cursing like a rapper, but her raspy voice is the only tough thing about her. Her cringe-worthy pre-recorded segments were as dull as her live comments. It was an evening of desperation for Miley and embarrassment for her family.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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KANYE WEST LOOKS WAY MORE COMFORTABLE THAN HIS WIFE AT THE VMA’S

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We had to laugh when we saw how Kanye West and Kim Kardashian looked when they arrived at the Video Awards show. Kanye, who calls the fashion shots for both of them, dressed himself in a greige oversize sweater, sweatpants, and casual sneakers. No chance of Kim being that comfortable. He trussed up pregnant Kim in a cargo inspired evening gown with a plunging neckline and stiletto heels. Both maintained expressionless faces in front of the cameras.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

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ALEC BALDWIN HAS NO COMMENT ABOUT DAUGHTER IRELAND’S ROMANCE WITH A RAPPER

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Ireland Baldwin, 18, seemed to enjoy showing off her girlfriend, rapper Angel Haze, 23, as they held hands on the red carpet at the VMA’s. Ireland DOES seem happier with Angel than she was with her last boyfriend, surfer Slater Trout. Her parents, Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin have been conspicuously silent about their daughter’s relationship. It’s probably for the best – Alec has a habit of throwing around gay insults when he loses his temper.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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RITA ORA CAN DO NO WRONG IN THE LOOKS DEPARTMENT

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Rita Ora knows how to have fun with fashion. She’s consistently worthy of second glances. By day, she puts bizarre combinations together in a great way and doesn’t play by the rules. Yet she’s able to glam it up bigtime like Lana Turner or Marilyn Monroe for the red carpet. And she does it all without any apparent silicone implants! Don’t know about her singing, but she’s got THE LOOK.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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KIM KARDASHIAN’S SISTERS LOOK REALLY GOOD STANDING NEXT TO HER

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Hopefully, Kim Kardashian learned a lesson at the MTV Video Awards: NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE PHOTOGRAPHED STANDING NEXT TO YOUR TWO TALLER, YOUNGER SISTERS. Not only do Kendall and Kylie make Kim look short and dumpy, but they make her outfit look even more absurd than it is. Except for her overexposed chest, Kim would look rather pretty if she wasn’t wearing what looks like an Indian blanket wrapped around like a cape.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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MILEY CYRUS: NOT AS SEXY AS SHE THINKS

Last night’s MTV Awards was a night that Miley Cyrus will want to FORGET in a few years, but it will come back to haunt her over and over. (Sort of like that photo of Keifer Sutherland sitting in a bar with his pants down) The 20 year old is acting like she just discovered sex, drugs, and rock n’ roll and she thinks she knows how to do it all better than anyone else. Sticking her tongue out and wiggling her behind is apparently Miley’s idea of what is sexy, but to the observer it’s just vulgar and silly. Hopefully, she’ll take a close look at her in-your-face performance and learn from her mistakes. (But we do love her hair)

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EZRA MILLER AND EMMA WATSON PLAY THEIR CARDS RIGHT AT THE MTV AWARDS

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Our all-out favorite pair at the MTV Video Music Awards was Harry Potter actress Emma Watson and Ezra Miller, who knocked us out as the malevolent Kevin in “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” They play step brother and sister in “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” – a coming of age movie we’re looking forward to seeing. Ezra is wearing what appears to be a Mariachi suit and we wonder where he found one in his size. Ezra looks like a genuine eccentric and we love Emma’s colorful and off-beat dress.

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HEY JAY-Z, WE DIDN’T CLAP FOR CHRIS BROWN AT THE VMA’S EITHER!

We LOVE Jay-Z for not forgetting what Chris Brown did to Rihanna and refusing to clap for Chris’s dancing performance on the VMA’s. Granted, Chris IS an amazing dancer and his number was spectacular, but Jay-Z discovered Rihanna and is very close to her. Despite his talent, Chris continues to reveal his flawed personality and ignorant attitude toward gays and women. He has never convinced anyone that he truly regretted beating up Rihanna and flaunts his arrogance. We applaud Jay-Z’s loyalty to Rihanna.

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