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Janet Charlton's
HOLLYWOOD

On and Off

This on and off couple finds it hard to call it quits because they have a lot in common. They both LOVE being famous and enjoy having photographers document their activities. Since they both have a history of substance abuse, they TRY to stay away from temptation. But the most important factor that has kept them together is SEX and plenty of it. They both have herpes so they can freely indulge in unprotected sex with each other with no repercussions. When they go out with OTHER people, they have to be careful!

Sunday, September 24, 2006
38 Comments

1980's RADICALISM

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Ever wonder where stagediving and slamdancing started? Right here in Southern California in the early 80’s with the Hardcore punk movement. This chaotic underground scene is the subject of the new documentary American Hardcore (the history of American punk rock 1980 – 1986.) If you liked loud fast music and had a shaved head or a crew cut and a threatening demeanor back then, you were probably Hardcore. We remember stuffing kleenex in our ears and keeping a safe distance from the stage during some of these shows, but we thought the scene was really cool. The movie features interviews with bandmembers from Gang Green, Circle Jerks , Bad Brains etc. and it’s fun to see how the guys look twenty five years later. Bet you didn’t know Moby was in a Hardcore band.

Saturday, September 23, 2006
15 Comments

WHAT WAS HE THINKING?

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Cigarette obsessed Brian De Palma managed to give Oscar winner Hilary Swank a massive career setback when he directed her in The Black Dahlia. Poor Hilary was oddly cast as a 1940’s VAMP and De Palma dolled the boyish actress up in a tawdry black wig and illchosen cocktail dresses that emphasized her athletic – not voluptuous- frame. The embarrassing effect is almost drag-queenish. Luscious Scarlett Johansson fared better – at least she filled out those cashmere sweaters and her hair worked in the 40’s updos. We still love Hilary and hope she got paid a lot for this debacle.

Saturday, September 23, 2006
11 Comments

WHAT KILLED DANIEL

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Did a RED BULL type energy drink kill Daniel Smith? We’re going out on a limb here- but it all adds up. Daniel may have unknowingly overdosed on energy drinks. Energy drinks are one of the ways young celebrities in Hollywood – and kids everywhere- perk up and curb appetites. Daniel had lost thirty pounds over the last year. Red Bull type drinks can be bought everywhere and users often gulp can after can in the course of a day. Consumption of more than the recommended limit of two cans a day can boost heart rate and blood pressure. In Ireland, a 20 year old dropped dead on the basketball court after drinking four energy drinks. His death was attributed to “Sudden Arrhythmia Death Syndrome.” Word has leaked out that Daniel, like many kids his age, was an avid consumer of energy drinks and may have been seen with a can in his hand not long before he died. Too many energy drinks could be harmful to a healthy person and might spell disaster for a boy who complained of a “racing heart.” Or maybe the drinks GAVE him the racing heart. Who knows? Our theory explains a lot – including the absence of toxic drugs in his system. It’s worth investigating.

Friday, September 22, 2006
28 Comments

ONE LOOK WAS ALL IT TOOK

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Here’s the scoop on Bono’s visit to The Grove that we warned you about: Kanye West was minding his own business browsing in Nordstrom at the Grove Sunday with his fiancee and her child when he noticed the store was abuzz with excitement. People were making a mad dash for the second floor. A store executive noticed Kanye and explained that Bono was autographing t-shirts upstairs to raise money for his African charity. He invited Kanye to make an appearance to support the cause and Kanye agreed. But he took one look at the frenzied mob of people around Bono and stopped in his tracks. A witness said ” It was like a religious experience- people were in AWE of Bono like he was The Pope or something. They PRAISED him for making the world a better place!” Women were weeping and men were trying to touch Bono. Kanye and his group decided against infiltrating THAT crowd, and slipped away to shop elsewhere.

Thursday, September 21, 2006
9 Comments

MORE THAN A PASSING ACQUAINTANCE WITH A TREADMILL

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Sometimes we can’t RESIST correcting misdemeanors. The September 18 issue of a popular celebrity weekly claimed that Heather Locklear bought David Spade a gym membership at Sports Club LA in Beverly Hills. The story went on to detail that “David is putting himself through hell to get in shape for his girlfriend Heather” and that he “had hardly ever seen the inside of a gym until she bought him the membership. ” Beside the fact that David and Heather had split up long before he was seen at the gym “dripping in sweat for Heather,” David has been working out in various local gyms for YEARS. Since the Sports Club LA opened last year he’s been seen there nearly EVERY DAY on the treadmill – sometimes watching the E! channel. He worked out (and flirted with girls in the gym) long before he dated Heather and he still does. Where DO they get those stories?

Thursday, September 21, 2006
9 Comments

GIRL MOST WANTED

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Is ANYBODY surprised to learn that Jessica Simpson’s father Joe is probably making tons of money from photographs of his daughters? Joe has some kind of deal with the biggest photo agency WireImage, according to Jeannette Walls – he might give them inside tips about photo ops or give them his own family photos to be sold. Either way he makes a bundle and as we have pointed out, he’s not the only celebrity’s relative to cash in.Of course many celebs want a cut of photo money for themselves – like Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton, Kate Hudson, Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner (and MANY more.) They ALL set up photo ops and take a cut of the profits. One of the few NOT under suspicion is Jennifer Aniston – she doesn’t need the money OR the publicity. And her photos are worth the MOST!

Wednesday, September 20, 2006
10 Comments

DEAD SILENCE

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Anna Nicole Smith has more than one mystery brewing in her life. It involves two people who were far more prominently featured on her reality series than her son Daniel. Anna’s “lawyer” and confidant , Howard K Stern, who wasn’t above dressing up in drag with her for fun, is oddly silent in her life lately. Howard, whom many people felt harbored a massive crush on Anna, has for years been her spokesperson. Just about every journalist in town had Howard’s number and we all consulted with him regularly about Anna. Howard is with Anna in the Bahamas, but she suddenly chose to have a LOCAL lawyer do the talking for her. There hasn’t been a peep out of Howard. What’s up with THAT? And while we’re on the subject, does anybody know whatever happened to Anna’s woebegone assistant Kimmy, from the TV show?

Wednesday, September 20, 2006
19 Comments

HE'S NOT LOOKING BACK

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Nicole Richie’s ex DJ AM (Who we think is one of the best DJ’s EVER) saw 90’s rap group A Tribe Called Quest at The Wiltern and it’v obvious that he has moved ON when it comes to Nicole Richie. He was upfront by the stage with two girls – one obviously his girlfriend. According to another audience member “She was a tiny very slim (but not emaciated) younger blondish version of Nicole. During the show he patted her backside affectionately and they whispered and giggled together. They acted really comfortable – like they’ve been a couple for awhile. “

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
13 Comments

HE DID HER WRONG

We heard that Joan Collins ranted to a soap magazine that she still holds a major grudge against ET’s Steven Cojocaru because he voted her “worst dressed” at the Emmys. She called Cojo a “horrible hideous man.” So we dug up a photo of Joan and we have to agree that Cojo did her wrong. He claimed she was “dripping with rhinestones from Brooklyn” and said it was a “sparkle attack.” He called her outfit “Beyond over the top.” We like Cojo but we’re siding with Joan here – he should have kept in mind that Joan IS in her seventies and looks great – plus she isn’t bombarded by designers begging to give her free dresses her like the twentysomething girls who made Cojo’s Best Dressed List.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006
18 Comments