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ASHLEE AND JESSICA SIMPSON: A TALE OF TWO SISTERS

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

For awhile, it seemed like Ashlee Simpson had everything her sister Jessica wanted. She married a musician and had a baby, she had plastic surgery to pretty up her face, and she was very SLIM. Jessica gained weight and lost boyfriends. But while Ashlee was looking great, Jessica ‘s businesses became incredibly successful. She’s raking in fifty million dollars a year in licensing deals and the offers keep pouring in. Ashlee can’t get an endorsement deal to save her life. She’s started envying Jessica again….

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  1. namers

    Jessica can sing, Ashley can’t.

  2. Mel Zipskin

    @ aeduko, thanks! Could be Debora Messing she looks awful these days.

  3. Jeanne Dixon

    Ashlee is still hot. Jessica is a bovine

  4. SebastianCanada

    wim/captain, what is the point of changing your name if your very idiosyncratic writing styles remains. Oooo, I know: it is a head game, part of a master plan.

    A cunning stunt from a stunning c**t.

  5. wim

    she just looks like a jobless clown.
    IS IT BECAUSE OF HER LITTLE FAGGOT-HUSBAND pete?

  6. SebastianCanada

    CoCo, spot on. Ashlee was Ashlee before the nose job. Now she is just third-rate arm-candy.

  7. CoCo

    Ashley is too skinny plus she looked way more interesting and marketable BEFORE the cosmetic surgery. She is blandly pretty now, no personality in her face, kind of like Jennifer Grey post-surgery.

  8. Indy

    Palermo: That is it in a nut shell. There’s really nothing more that can be said in one short sentence about these two strange ones.

  9. Palermo

    I don’t like either one of them, they’re both pathetic in their own way

  10. Pippa-London

    This woman has no talent and having married Pete Wentz makes her either one of two choices:

    1. Starf#%&er
    2. D-bag

  11. aeduko

    @Mel: I think the consensus on coke mom is Debra Messing or Angie Harmon. Frankly, I don’t see either, but all the veteran solvers think it’s one of them.

    Ashlee? She wouldn’t have a career if not for Jessica. She’s ridden her coattails the whole way.

  12. Teddy

    I kinda thought the reason Jessica Simpson (no talent) keeps getting pushed on the public is for her business/fashion enterprise. aargh. I think Ashlee is the wiser of the two—-and then I remember Pappa Joe, and the whole thing falls apart for me. Papa Joe is just a NO.

  13. SebastianCanada

    Jessica does indeed have it all. She could be the next, white, Oprah. She is growing into the role. Well, her ass is anyway.

  14. Natalie

    I always found Ashlee to be incredibly annoying. Have you ever listened to an interview? She can’t express herself at all.

  15. Kait

    Jessica has a rare gift–an incredible beauty that doesn’t wane, no matter what she weighs. I’m sure Ashlee has envied that her entire life, no matter how “lucky” she gets with her choices in men, surgeries, careers, wardrobe… You get my point. Jessica is da bomb.

  16. Rick

    Regardless of any faults, she’ll always stand head and shoulders above Jessica in my mind just because she’s never been involved with John Mayer.

  17. strom

    She is a skank,,,she would be better off working for Jessica and helping to keep all the money in the family.

  18. Mel Zipskin

    Is she the infamous coke mom of blind items?