Substance Abuse

JOHNNY DEPP: PUT YOUR MONEY WHERE YOUR MOUTH IS

After trouncing his ex-wife Amber Heard in court, Johnny Depp, 58, has plenty to smile about, but you rarely see his teeth. They are not the same teeth you remember from 1990’s Cry-Baby. Due to chain-smoking from the age of 12, substance abuse, (he bragged that his personal wine bills were in excess of $30,000 per month) and dental neglect, Johnny is starting to resemble his musical idol Shane McGowan from The Pogues. Hopefully he will invest some of the millions that Amber Heard now owes him into his mouth.

JOHNNY DEPP IS A HOLLYWOOD VAMPIRE IN REAL LIFE (AMBER HEARD WAS RIGHT)

Rolling Stone’s startling interview with Johnny Depp (he’s obviously a fan of the publication) is revealing in SO many horrible ways. Depp is obviously In denial about his “compulsive spending disorder.” He spends an average of two million dollars a month – on maintaining 14 houses and ridiculously impulsive purchases that fill 12 large storage facilities. He blames his money managers for his financial problems. His behavior is alarming – Depp attempted to extract his own tooth in a London restaurant, while in the company of Penelope Cruz and Stella McCartney. His drug use and alcohol abuse rivals that of his debauched idol Hunter S Thompson and while acting, he has his lines fed into an earpiece like his other deceased self-indulgent idol, Marlon Brando. He sleeps all day and only lives by night – reminiscent of Elvis Presley’s last days….

Above Johnny leaving Eden Hotel in Rome

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH HEATHER LOCKLEAR?

Some of you might remember Heather Locklear’s early TV appearances – she was a sweet young and innocent looking California girl. And really NICE, to boot. Maybe it was her attraction to rock stars- Tommy Lee and Richie Sambora – that did her in. Both ex-husbands were substance abusers. As her crazy behavior escalated in her 50’s, she shed her “normal” boyfriends and ended up with a fellow AA member and ex-convict, Chris Heisser. They may have attended meetings together when she left rehab for the umpteenth time, but they are POISON for each other. We figure Heather is battling manic depression and self-medicates – menopause certainly made it all worse. This current boyfriend (whom she beats up occasionally) is nothing but trouble. Heather’s violent and profanity laden behavior is horribly painful for her long-suffering decent parents and college student daughter Ava, 20, who have to clean up after (and presumably search the house for guns.)

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA
Photo above, Heather between tantrums at the airport last year with her dog Mister (whom Heisser cares for when she’s locked up)

DOES JONATHAN RHYS MEYERS’ FIANCEE KNOW WHAT SHE’S IN FOR?

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Jonathan Rhys Meyers and his fiancée Mara Lane, along with her adorable puppy, look like a happy couple walking in Beverly Hills. Jonathan looks a LOT better than the last time we saw photos of him last May. Remember, he was staggering around in the daytime in London, looking like a frazzled mess, guzzling vodka out of a big bottle. When Jonathan falls off the wagon, he does so in a spectacular manner. There have been a number of airplane incidents and public scenes, but with the help of rehab, Jonathan survived them all and returned to work. Somehow he managed to hold on to his fiancée.

Photo Credit: AKM-GSI

ROBERT DOWNEY JR HAS PLENTY TO BE THANKFUL FOR

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In the wake of Charlie Sheen’s disastrous situation, Robert Downey Jr, 50, has a LOT to be thankful for on this holiday. Downey’s career is flourishing – he’s been the highest paid actor in Hollywood for three years straight. But it wasn’t so long ago that he was such a hopeless addict that he made Charlie look like an amateur. Remember when Robert woke up in the WRONG Malibu house? We recall him escaping from yet another rehab and hitchhiking in Venice in his pajamas. He survived multiple rehabilitation centers and STATE PRISON. But through it all, Robert was a likeable guy and everyone hoped for the best. Robert credits his recovery success to marrying the right woman – not something likely to happen to Charlie.(Above, Downey arrived at the Jimmy Kimmel show with considerable fanfare)

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

MACKENZIE PHILLIPS IS DOING SOMETHING WITH HER LIFE

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Mackenzie Phillips seems to be doing all right! The One Day at a Time star turned up at a drug rehabilitation event for performers and she looks happy and healthy. Mackenzie, 55, grew up in a world of rich hippies, drugs, and incest – her father was singer John Phillips. She was a star at 13, thanks to American Graffiti. After a lifetime battle with substance abuse, she now works at the Pasadena Recovery Center as a drug counselor. She still acts – and not long ago guest starred on Hot in Cleveland with her old pal Valerie Bertinelli. (Her son Shane is now a 28 year old musician.)

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

DANIEL BALDWIN GAVE ANDY DICK A TASTE OF HIS OWN MEDICINE

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These two Hollywood bad boys turned up at the Experience, Strength and Hope Awards – it’s a charity that offers support for writers and performers with substance abuse problems. Andy Dick is notorious for grabbing unsuspecting strange men in public and kissing them – which often caused a fight and sometimes landed him in jail. This time Daniel Baldwin beat Andy to the punch and planted a smooch on HIM by force. It does make one wonder about their sobriety….
Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

PARTY GIRL RIHANNA THINKS PENICILLIN IS THE CURE-ALL

Looks like Russell Brand was right when he expressed his opinion that Rihanna was a hard core partier and bad influence on his ex-wife Katy Perry. Rihanna’s many nights of indulgence caused her to feel sick and miss the important dress rehearsal for Saturday Night Live, yet she appeared quite normal during the live show. She claimed a “shot of penicillin” (from Dr Feelgood?) revived her in the dressing room, but we all know penicillin doesn’t instantly cure anything – much less a hangover. And injecting it without a very good reason is dangerous. After the Met gala Rihanna landed in the hospital hooked up to tubes in her veins for “ dehydration” and posing for a Twitter photo. Obviously she thinks her indulgences are funny and no big deal. Let’s hope she has better friends than Whitney Houston had.

JASON RUSSELL MAY HAVE WORSE PROBLEMS THAN SUBSTANCE ABUSE: SCHIZOPHRENIA

We still haven’t recovered from Jason Russell’s wife’s incredibly inane explanation for her husband’s bizarre behavior. The sudden viral success of Russell’s mini-documentary on monstrous war criminal Joseph Kony has brought him notoriety and admiration. Instead of reveling in the spotlight, Russell was found in the streets of San Diego behaving like a madman – talking and shouting to people who weren’t there, running around and pounding the sidewalk, stripping off his clothes and masturbating in public. He was hauled off to a mental hospital and his wife was offended at the suggestion that he was drunk or on drugs. She insists that his naked meltdown was not substance abuse, but “dehydration and exhaustion.” (So instead of have a glass of water and a nap, he flipped out?) His wife should only HOPE that Jason abused drugs because he exhibited all the symptoms of schizophrenia. And THAT’S a scary diagnosis.

MICHAEL MADSEN: THIS IS WHAT SUBSTANCE ABUSE CAN DO TO YOU

We recall the first time we saw Michael Madsen in the early 90’s in “Thelma & Louise” – he was spectacular as an Elvis-lookalike tough guy with a heart of gold. He went on to do movies like “Reservoir Dogs” and “Kill Bill” plus the fabulous “Species” series. What happened? This week he was arrested after a confrontation with his teenage son where he took away the kid’s marijuana. He was described by police as “intoxicated.” Madson has had other embarrassing incidents involving substance abuse over the past few years. But this mug shot startled us – it rivals Nick Nolte’s. Michael Madsen is blonde? – apparently he’s Scandinavian and his sister Virginia Madsen is blonde too. Little did we know….