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Crack for Babies

This newlywed bride is absolutely DESPERATE to get pregnant. She’s been having fertility treatments, but the result so far has only been a miscarriage. Family is very important to her and she feels a baby is the only thing her marriage lacks. What’s her problem? Her problem isn’t WEIGHT – she’s not abnormally thin. Her problem isn’t AGE – she’s still in her thirties. Her problem isn’t her HUSBAND- he’s functioning normally. Her problem is her addiction to crack.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

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  1. Anonymous

    Eva Longoria

  2. madmadgrrl

    Desperate???
    Its clearly: Eva Long-HO.
    The National Enq. even states this week she has gone so far as to build a nursery in her dressing room.
    Sounds like wishful, crackhead thinking…

  3. Janet Buttimer

    Did Brittany Murphy ever get a guy – any guy – to accept payola and marry her? My daughter and me can’t stand her
    Now SHE is crack. And a BM.

  4. Anonymous

    Anna Nicole Smith

  5. Anonymous

    Pam Anderson already has children!

  6. Anonymous

    It’s totally J.Lo.

  7. SAH Mom

    Pam Anderson…she recently miscarried, her weight isn’t the problem (if you count those two water wings she stores on her chest), and she wants kids.

  8. Anonymous

    I just read that Pam Anderson recently miscarried… hmmm

  9. jrex

    Who is Claire Forlani? Desperately is obviously a clue, come on. But who?

  10. Anonymous

    Avril Lavine or Christina Augeliera?

  11. Anonymous

    I agree that it is claire forlani. she has that look.

  12. WendyInDC

    It’s NOT Patricia Arquette b/c she was NOT in Desperately Seeking Susan — her sister Rosanna Arquette was.

  13. Anonymous

    There was an article in one of the tabloids this week saying that Nicole Kidman was going for fertility treatment or something.

  14. Anonymous

    Marcia Cross

  15. Anonymous

    J Lo has been married for a couple years, that is not a newly wed.
    Pam looks the part and just got married.

  16. Anonymous

    Check out this link that supports J.Lo as the one…
    it’s the blog “A Socialite’s Life” from April 2006
    http://socialitelife.com/2006/04/03/rumor_mill_did_kimora_lee_simmons_buy_a_hollywood_hills_home.php

  17. Anonymous

    Check out this link that supports J.Lo as the one…
    it’s the blog “A Socialite’s Life” from April 2006
    http://socialitelife.com/2006/04/03/rumor_mill_did_kimora_lee_simmons_buy_a_hollywood_hills_home.php

  18. Anonymous

    Rachel Ray and her husband don’t want any kids.

  19. Anonymous

    Janet didn’t say it was as actress maybe it could be Rachel Ray. She may be a little chubby but don’t you figure after all these years
    of fixing yummy stuff she be a huge heiffer!

  20. Anonymous

    Janet didn’t say it was as actress maybe it could be Rachel Ray. She may be a little chubby but don’t you figure after all these years
    a fixing yummy stuff she be a huge heffer!

  21. stating the obvious

    it has got to be J Lo — of all the guesses above, she is the only one still in her 30’s. Just because she doesn’t drink – don’t assume she ain’t doin crack! It is a well known fact that she wants to be pregnant more than anything and we all know Marc has several kids already with other women – therefore, problem is J-Lo!!!

  22. Anonymous

    Claire Forlani – just married to Dougray Scott, who plays Ian on Desparate Housewives.

  23. Anonymous

    Yes, they have a kid and she is in her 40s.

  24. Anonymous

    Don’t Patricia and her husband already have a kid?

  25. Anonymous

    Star Jones, without a doubt!

  26. anonymous

    I don’t think it’s Pam Andersen. My guess is Patricia Arquette. I think the DESPERATLEY was a clue – indicating someone from Desperate Housewives – no one there, although her sister, Rosanna Arquette, is on another TV show on the same network (What About Brian). She was also in Desperatley Seeking Susan. Patricia is not overly skinny, a newlywed, and in her 30’s.

  27. Anonymous

    It’s gotta be Mrs. Robert Ritchie a.k.a Pamela Anderson.

  28. Anonymous

    Sandra Bullock is a delicious guess, but I tend to think it’s Pam Anderson. She has totally rocked the crackhead look for years now. I remember when she stripped down to nothing on SNL years ago – the first thing I thought was “She’s gotta lay off the coke.”

  29. Anonymous

    It’s Pamela Anderson. She and Kid Rock are trying to get pregnant.

  30. Anonymous

    It is NOT J Lo. She doesn’t even touch alchohol, I doubt she’s into crack.

  31. Anonymous

    LOL Marcia’s pregnant with twins!

  32. Anonymous

    Marcia Cross

  33. shores4now

    Not Sandra Bullock, she is 42 years old..

  34. Anonymous

    It is Sandra Bullock…just ask the folks in TX about her drug prob. Sad but true.

  35. Ban

    I think it’s Rebecca Grayhart. She’s married to McSteamy from Grey’s Anatomy, in her 30s, etc. She has that crack whore look.

  36. Anonymous

    IMO,
    Nicole Kidamn is abnormally thin.
    And it has been revealed her husband is in treatment for cocaine addiction.
    Nicole Kidman does not quite fit the profile for this BI.

  37. Tom Looser

    Gotta be Nicole Kidman.

  38. Rosie O'Dykel

    But what type of crack? Maybe Janet means that she’s a DYKE and allergice to female CRACK!

  39. chrissy

    Pam Anderson?

  40. Anonymous

    JLO and crack? I don’t believe it..she is not skinny enough or hung over looking enough..

  41. Anonymous

    Hey, Laura: at first I couldn’t think of anything for this one, but I like your guess. It fits all of the clues (e.g. fit but not too skinny; 30s; newlywed; etc.).

  42. Laura

    Totally J-lo