OWN

BAD IDEA: OPRAH IS COUNTING ON LINDSAY LOHAN SERIES TO BOOST OWN NETWORK

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People seem to be tired of watching Betty Ford dropout Lindsay Lohan enjoy one opportunity after another, after lousing up her own life and career. Her new docu-series “Lindsay” didn’t set any records for Oprah’s OWN network – the first episode Sunday night pulled in 693,000 viewers. Mediocre at best. One wonders what Lindsay did to deserve being paid two million dollars, given assistants and a stylist, and set up in a fancy New York apartment, while having cameras follow her efforts at resurrecting her career. Is she even grateful? Funny – we’re just not interested enough to tune in.

ARE PEOPLE SICK OF THE SIGHT OF LINDSAY LOHAN?

SOMEBODY’S not as hot as they used to be. Despite relentless publicity, Oprah Winfrey’s interview with Lindsay Lohan was NOT a hit with viewers! According to The Hollywood Reporter, the 1 hour premier on OWN drew 892,000 viewers. In comparison, Oprah’s interview with Whitney Houston’s family in 2012 had 3.5 million viewers and her Lance Armstrong interview pulled in 3.2 million viewers. Lohan admitted lying about her cocaine use but avoided the subject of her real obsession, Adderall. Oprah might be having second thoughts about signing Lohan to an eight episode docuseries on OWN that will follow her acting career.

OPRAH IS LURING VIEWERS FOR HER NETWORK WITH “FAVORITE THINGS” GIVEAWAY

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Oprah finally figured out how to get people to watch her hard-to-find OWN network. She’s having another Favorite Things gigantic giveaway show on November 18. Designers Tory Burch and Michael Kors will help her shower audience members with prizes and this time she selected a deserving group to receive the gifts: military spouses from each branch of the armed forces! (Above, Oprah photographed by Terry Richardson for Harper’s Bazaar)

THE “WHERE’S LA TOYA JACKSON?” MYSTERY IS SOLVED

We just figured out WHY LaToya Jackson was mysteriously MISSING during the Jackson family squabbles over the past few weeks. Usually LaToya is very free with her opinions. The reason for her reticence is because she was negotiating with Oprah’s OWN network to have her own reality series and didn’t want to jeopardize the deal. Now that papers are signed she has her own show “Life With LaToya,” that will hopefully be more interesting and realistic than her brothers disastrous scripted reality series, modestly titled “The Jacksons: A Family Dynasty.” The show lasted for only six awkward episodes on A&E, and went off the air in 2010. LAToya, 56, IS more watchable than her brothers, but is her private life really all that intriguing?

OPRAH AND ROSIE: CLASH OF THE TITANS

Oprah is NOT happy with Rosie O’Donnell. First of all, Rosie’s show isn’t pulling in the ratings that Oprah’s OWN network desperately needs. In order to boost viewership and create excitement, Oprah suggested that Rosie invite people she has famously feuded with to be on the show – like Barbara Walters, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, or Bill O’Reilly. She wants conflict. Oprah remembers the humongous ratings she got when Sarah Palin guested on her show and wants more of THAT, but Rosie is resisting. A major ego clash is predicted.

OPRAH WILL MAKE HER OWN NETWORK A SUCCESS OR DIE TRYING

Oprah is still frantically trying to resuscitate her OWN network so she’s going to start giving away more freebies. During the run of her Oprah show, the most popular segments were celebrity interviews and “My Favorite Things” where the audience walked away with a bag of gifts. Oprah is developing a weekly show for OWN in which a different celebrity each week will give away THEIR favorite things (tech items, beauty products, fashion etc.) Her friend Gayle King may or may not host – the details are still being worked out.

OPRAH MIGHT HOST THE OSCARS- IF SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS!

Oprah has hatched a plan to host the Oscars and she’s deep in negotiations with the Academy. She figures it would be a great way to drum up viewership for her struggling OWN network if she could have special backstage access for her cameras to capture her Oscar experience. She’d like to film preparations and rehearsals and have behind the scenes footage before and after the show exclusively for OWN. ABC is reluctant, but if Oprah doesn’t get what she wants, it’s likely she won’t host.