Naked

JASON RUSSELL MAY HAVE WORSE PROBLEMS THAN SUBSTANCE ABUSE: SCHIZOPHRENIA

We still haven’t recovered from Jason Russell’s wife’s incredibly inane explanation for her husband’s bizarre behavior. The sudden viral success of Russell’s mini-documentary on monstrous war criminal Joseph Kony has brought him notoriety and admiration. Instead of reveling in the spotlight, Russell was found in the streets of San Diego behaving like a madman – talking and shouting to people who weren’t there, running around and pounding the sidewalk, stripping off his clothes and masturbating in public. He was hauled off to a mental hospital and his wife was offended at the suggestion that he was drunk or on drugs. She insists that his naked meltdown was not substance abuse, but “dehydration and exhaustion.” (So instead of have a glass of water and a nap, he flipped out?) His wife should only HOPE that Jason abused drugs because he exhibited all the symptoms of schizophrenia. And THAT’S a scary diagnosis.

EVEN BLAKE LIVELY CAN MAKE AN OCCASIONAL ERROR IN JUDGMENT

Blake Lively has been loudly protesting that those nude photos of her supposedly taken BY her are absolutely fakes! We think she’s really embarrassed by her own youthful indiscretion. The pics were taken some time after 2007 when that particular phone came out, and she appears to be in a hotel room or trailer. Back then she was just starting “Gossip Girl” and dating Penn Badgley. We’re betting she was off doing a photo shoot or something, felt lonely, and sent him these pics on an impulse. Little did she know that in a few years she would become an important movie actress, a fashion muse for Karl Lagerfeld and Leonardo DiCaprio’s new squeeze! SOMEHOW the photos leaked, and she sicced her lawyers on the case screaming their denials. Ho-hum.

BRITNEY SPEARS’ SEXUAL HARASSMENT LAWSUIT COULD BE SENSATIONAL

Britney Spears’ former bodyguard Fernando Flores, who’s suing her for sexual harassment, is licking his chops at the prospect of revealing all her dirty little secrets in civil court where we all can learn every lurid detail. Of course, HER people are begging the judge to move the case to probate court for privacy. There’s no decision yet, but hopefully the judge will rule our way because we do find Brit’s nudism and seduction attempts very entertaining.

IF SPAIN WINS WORLD CUP, ENRIQUE IGLESIAS VOWS TO CELEBRATE BY WATER SKIING NAKED

Enrique Iglesias just made spectator sports more interesting. The singer, 35, is mad about soccer and to prove his devotion, he vowed to water ski nude in Miami if Spain wins the World Cup. He declared “If Spain wins, I’ll get drunk and ski naked in Biscayne Bay this is what we used to do when we were kids!” Certainly the paparazzi in Florida are now rooting for Spain.

IF DWTS CONTESTANTS COULD SEE JUDGE BRUNO LIKE THIS, THEY WOULDN’T BE NERVOUS

No, We’re happy to say that “Dancing With The Stars” judge Bruno Tonioli did NOT take his clothes off for PETA. – it was to raise money for cancer research in the UK. He also judges the British dance show “Strictly Come Dancing” and he’s a bigger celebrity in Europe than he is here. Did you know Bruno speaks five languages and did choreography for Freddie Mercury?