Kardashian Kollection

KIM KARDASHIAN: WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

Kim Kardashian is really proud of the photos Terry Richardson did of her for the Kardashian Kollection because she looks sensational. But we’re not buying it. Why is she wearing black in a black background for a fashion shoot? Recent paparazzi snapshots of Kim look nothing like this. Kim credits the Atkins diet but we credit photoshop.

THE KARDASHIANS THINK THEY’RE TOO SMALL TO WEAR THEIR OWN PLUS-SIZE DENIM COLLECTION

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The Kardashian sisters were faced with a fashion dilemma concerning their new Kardashian Kollection plus size denim line for Sears. Neither Kim nor Khloe nor Kourtney thought they were curvy enough to present the line, so they launched a model search to find the perfect plus size girl. They selected 5’10” Los Angeles model Briana Harrington, and she is delighted, but it IS amusing that the Kardshian sisters all felt they were far too tiny to model their own plus size collection! (Above, Kim wears glasses as a distraction from her hips, and Briana)

OPTICAL ILLUSION KARDASHIAN STYLE

Okay, we stopped dead when we saw this photo of the Kardashian sisters promoting their new eyewear collection for Sears. Was there no budget for a stylist? Those three hideously cheap looking dresses in stretch black lace remind one of Forever 21 in the 90’s. SO dated. Naturally, they happen to be from the Kardashian Kollection for Sears. And there’s nothing edgy or modern or flattering about the eyeglass frames either. The Kardashian brand is devolving rapidly. Obviously the ad budget was blown on photoshopping and extensions for the sisters. What would Kanye think of this?

CAN SEARS SURVIVE THE KARDASHIAN SISTERS?

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The Kardashian sisters posed for topless photos in a desperate attempt to save their Kardashian Kollection at Sears. The large fashion collection has been underperforming for the struggling department store chain, which was counting on the Kardashian name to stir up consumer interest and boost revenue. Sears invested a lot of money in the collection and it’s likely that Kim’s “fall from grace” after filing for divorce turned shoppers off. Posing topless for their new jean collection might help Sears – or it might not. Actually, we like Sears because it might be the oldest chain and mail-order store left (we collect old Sears catalogs) and we hope it survives the Kardashians.

KARDASHIAN KOLLECTION IS A BIG DISAPPOINTMENT FOR SEARS

Kardashian designs have failed to help Sears bottom line. The Kardashian Kollection is a large group including dresses, shoes, handbags, lingerie, jewelry, etc but it failed to bring in the enthusiastic crowds that most celebrity products attract. Sears had hoped the Kardashians would pull in new shoppers and sell large quantities, besides giving them lots of publicity. Right now the “Kollection” which debuted in September, is on sale for 55% off.

WHO KNEW THE KARDASHIAN SISTERS WERE BIG SEARS SHOPPERS?

Shopping at Sears will never be the same. Giant blow-ups of the Kardashian sisters will be all over the store. Kim, Kourtney, and Khloe are combining talents to introduce the Karadashian Kollection, which will blanket the store with clothing, jewelry, lingerie, handbags, hats, gloves, and shoes. Can washing machines and lawn mowers be far behind? The chain expects to rake in 200 to 300 million dollars from the Kollection the first year. We were most amused by Kim’s remark “We always shopped at Sears and thought it would be the perfect place for our collection.” Funny, she’s been photographed shopping at a lot of places, but never Sears.