Jesus

CARDI B AND OFFSET: A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN?

Cardi B and Offset have the same taste in jewelry and often wear each other’s diamonds. We are particularly amused by the accessories they wore to Drake’s Super Bowl party. Cardi is flashing a diamond Playboy bunny on her diamond chain because she has been named the first ever Playboy Creative Director and will be contributing to a new platform called CENTERFOLD. Playboy says she is ”the embodiment of the Playboy brand.” Offset, on the other hand, is wearing a diamond Jesus head under his Thom Browne sweater – perhaps because he has been arrested a number of times and served time in prison on gun and drug charges.

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KANYE SAYS: GET CLOSER TO GOD AND YOU’LL GET RICH

Apparently the only person that could convince Kanye West to take his meds is God – or Jesus Christ himself, so he continues to spiral out of control. It might be time for Pastor Joel Osteen to start backing away from Kanye, although their working together has been mutually beneficial. It looks good for an evangelical preacher to embrace a person of color, and Kanye has learned a lot about using religion as a tax exemption. Kanye continues to insist that he is “the greatest artist that God ever created” and claims that his wealth is the result of becoming closer to God. Kanye’s latest stunts- peeing on his Grammy, ranting about record company contracts etc, can only make us (and Kim) wonder what Kanye – and God- have in store for us next.

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PARIS JACKSON: JANIS JOPLIN – OR JESUS?

Call it a time warp. Head to toe, Paris Jackson looks like she just drove down from Laurel Canyon in the year 1968. She’s the perfect hippie. Note the round glasses, long hair and funky jewelry- nothing that looks expensive. Her East Indian inspired attire, sandals, and ankle-bracelet add authenticity to the era. Top it off with a peace sign and you have an aspiring Janis Joplin… On second thought, this look might be the reason why Paris was cast to play a lesbian Jesus character in her new film Habit

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KANYE WEST: JESUS AND FASHION DON’T MIX

Now that Kanye West has found Jesus, has he lost interest in fashion? Kanye’s Yeezy collection has disappeared off the racks, and he seems to have stopped producing the collection. Kanye and Kim showed up at the fashion /charity event called FGI Night of Stars Gala in New York Friday, and Kim was glitzily attired for the black tie event, but Kanye wore two shades of denim and looks uncomfortable. Has he forsaken Virgil Abloh for Jesus?

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MADONNA HITS UP MILLIONAIRES TO DONATE TO HER CHILDREN’S CHARITY IN BRAZIL

Hoping the increase the popularity of Kabbalah in Brazil, Madonna flew by helicopter to a fancy island where Rio’s rich and famous reside, to raise money for her planned children’s charity in Brazil. Her flying outfit seems to be inspired by the 1930’s. It’s rumored that she’s already raised ten million dollars for the charity. Later she and Jesus left Brazil on a commercial flight.