Funeral

JANE BIRKIN TAUGHT ME A LESSON

Actress/singer Jane Birkin’s funeral was a huge deal in Paris. Thousands of fans lined the streets while her celebrity friends and family were inside the church. The event was live-streamed on a huge screen outside so everyone could watch. Speaking of the Birkin bag, on my first trip to Paris decades ago, I foolishly bought what passed for a dark red leather Birkin bag. It was probably a knock-off, but it looked good and cost a LOT. It became my daily bag in LA when I got home, and still is the only handbag that a strange man complimented me on. THAT should have been a clue. One night I took it to The Candy Store nightclub in Beverly Hills and it was stolen off the table while I was dancing. Disaster- my drivers license, credit cards, and makeup were all gone! I learned a painful lesson: NEVER carry an expensive or desirable looking handbag. You are ASKING for trouble!

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

THE OLSEN TWINS ACTUALLY SHOWED UP FOR BOB SAGET FUNERAL

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen were the ONLY Full House main cast members who didn’t return for the Netflix reboot Fuller House in 2016, but the twins turned up for their TV dad Bob Saget’s funeral. The very reclusive (and tiny) twins, now 35, released a statement to People that they were deeply saddened by Bob’s death and said he was a loving, compassionate, and generous man. We’re thinking the introverted twins must be very happy in their masks and sunglasses.Photo Credit:

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

FAST & FURIOUS STAR LUDACRIS COULDN’T HELP LOOKING GOOD AT JOHN SINGLETON FUNERAL

The sad event of John Singleton’s funeral today was made slightly more bearable by the appearance of Ludacris. We don’t get to see The Fast and the Furious star dressed up all that often and he looks quite handsome. John Singleton directed Ludacris in 2 Fast 2 Furious in 2003. We didn’t realize that Ludacris (Christopher Bridges) studied music management at Georgia State University before he became a successful rapper. He founded The Ludacris Foundation in 2002 to inspire youth to realize the importance of education.

Photo Credit: BACKGRID-USA

SALLY FIELD: DID SHE OR DIDN’T SHE ATTEND BURT REYNOLDS’ FUNERAL?

Burt Reynolds happened to die at the right time for his ex-girlfriend Sally Field. She just released a memoir, In Pieces, which included some not–so-nice recollections of their romance (we think she was holding back,) and she’s been getting a lot of publicity. Good for her- Burt did NOT treat his women well. Sally admits she hasn’t spoken to Burt in 30 years. So why did Us Weekly report that she was at his funeral in West Palm Beach (home of The Enquirer) – she was the only celebrity in attendance, if she WAS there. Burt wanted to be buried in the driver’s seat of his 1977 Trans Am, but he didn’t leave enough money to pay for such a funeral, so he was sensibly cremated. We strongly DOUBT that Sally would have shown up, and are waiting for US to retract their mistake…

ZSA ZSA GABOR FINALLY MARRIED THE WRONG MAN

It’s the final insult for the late Zsa Zsa Gabor, who passed away at the age of 99 at her Bel Air home. In 1986 when Zsa Zsa took Frederic Von Anhalt for her ninth husband, she thought she was marrying royalty – a legitimate German prince – and that made HER royalty too! Eventually she learned that Frederic’s royal ties were questionable at best, but by then she was too ill to object. As her health declined, Zsa Zsa spent most of the last decade in bed in a vegetative state. Fredric sold photos of her looking awful in bed to tabloids! And he cut off her daughter Francesca Hilton’s allowance, so when she died, she was living in her car! All the while, Von Anhalt was “adopting” numerous young men to give them Princely titles. When Zsa Zsa mercifully passed away Dec 18, Fredric hired a publicist to arrange a “star studded” memorial service. A list of celebrities “expected “ was distributed to the media. The “Prince” hoped to earn big bucks for media access. It turns out NONE of the listed celebrities agreed to attend and don’t plan to! A small but genuine memorial service for her friends will be happening in January after the holidays.

(Above, a billboard that Frederic posted on Sunset Strip in 2011 while Zsa Zsa was in the throes of dementia)

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

IF WHITNEY’S FAMILY IS SMART – THEY WILL WELCOME BOBBY BROWN TO THE FUNERAL

Whitney Houston’s family is making a HUGE mistake if they don’t invite Bobby Brown to the funeral. For the sake of Whitney and Bobby’s daughter Bobbi Kristina he should absolutely be present. And keep in mind he was THE LOVE of Whitney’s life. As much as Whitney’s family would like to blame Bobby for Whitney’s drug troubles, even Whitney admitted her drug problems were all HER own fault. The Houston family would also be foolish to mistreat Bobby because he might be tempted to get back at them by talking to the press. And there’s plenty to talk about. We predict they’ll come to their senses. (Above, Bobby and fiancee Alicia Etheridge)

FINAL DRAMATIC FAREWELL TO MALCOLM MCLAREN, THE ARCHITECT OF PUNK

Subversive punk icon Malcolm McLaren was laid to rest in the flamboyant style he’d grown accustomed to. “Too Fast To Live, Too Young To Die,” the slogan from his “Sex” shop, was written on his casket. The funeral procession was led by a horse drawn carriage, and paraded through the home of the punk movement, Camden, in north-west London. Thousands of people lined the streets. Mourners included the remaining Sex Pistols, tarted up Adam Ant, and McLaren’s muse Vivienne Westwood. Westwood wants McLaren to be remembered as an inspiration to the new generation – she advised them to “Get a life – and do something with it!”