FBI

MORE BAD NEWS FOR MICHAEL JACKSON’S KIDS

The UK Mirror claims to have seen FBI papers that reveal that Michael Jackson paid 35 million dollars in hush money to buy the silence of children he molested over a fifteen year period. The victims numbered over two dozen boys including Jordie Chandler. In the early 90’s after Jordie’s father went public with abuse claims, Michael hired private investigator Anthony Pellicano to make sure no more allegations would pop up. Pellicano arranged to have many families and some of Jacksons employees paid off in exchange for silence. In 2002 the FBI seized Anthony Pellicano’s files after he was accused of racketeering and wiretapping for which he is now serving 15 years in prison. THAT’S how the FBI got the Jackson files. You can’t help but feel sorry for Michael’s kids.

Photo Credit: Pacific Coast News

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NAKED PHOTOS OF SCARLETT JOHANSSON! CALL THE FBI!

The FBI is investigating hackers who stole x-rated nude photos from Scarlett Johansson’s cell phone. Excuse us, but is this really an FBI matter? Somehow we imagined the FBI as working on assignments more important to the country. Would they be as involved if an ordinary Joe’s phone had been hacked and HIS not–so-sexy photos stolen? If YOUR cell phone were hacked, would you call the FBI? A private investigator, at most. So THIS is where our taxpayer dollars are going. Surely the Feds have more important things to do. And Scarlett should know better than to have nude photos of her private parts on her phone.

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LEONARDO DICAPRIO SHOULD SNAP UP THIS JUICY ROLE AS J EDGAR HOOVER

We’ve long been fascinated by the first FBI Director J Edgar Hoover (from 1935 to his death in 1972) and all the stories about his secret gay proclivities and alleged cross-dressing. Clint Eastwood is intrigued too, and he’s set to direct a biography of Hoover prominently featuring his associate and supposed “lover” Clyde Tolson. The men were inseparable partners but at the time no one DARED question the intimidating Hoover (above right) about his sexual preference. A socialite reported seeing Hoover at a gay orgy dressed in a flouncy black dress, stockings, high heels, and a wig. Another acquaintance thought Hoover was “so straight-laced” that he couldn’t have a normal romantic relationship. Who better to play this many-sided character than Leonardo DiCaprio? Eastwood wants Leo, and he wants Joaquin Phoenix to play Clyde Tolson.

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